


patience

by chasingfire



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Basketball, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Heavy Angst, Internalized Homophobia, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28527978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingfire/pseuds/chasingfire
Summary: shelby goodkind was everything toni shalifoe hated; if it wasn't her perfect life or her pretty looks, then be it her beliefs, the bragging, the innocent princess act or whatever else toni could despise. but when the two get stuck in detention after a fight, they suddenly seem to be crossing paths wherever they go.most would believe it was fate, although toni would rather call it torture.as they run into each other over and over again, toni slowly starts to see the real shelby, who's life isn't as perfect after all.falling for the girl she swore she hated, wasn't in toni's plans at all, but when the moment came, she knew there was no turning back...
Relationships: Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke (background), Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 35
Kudos: 353





	1. - chapter one -

It wasn’t even past eight as Toni sat in the back of the classroom, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Nearly every day she wouldn’t be sitting there alone, her best friend Marta keeping her company at the start of another school day. Today wasn’t anything like that, though. An awful night of no sleep and a text of Martha saying she wouldn’t be in time for class, came in the way of Toni’s daily routine. 

And she wasn’t in the mood for _anything_ today.

As the other students entered the classroom, Toni used her backpack as a pillow and closed her eyes in irritation, trying to block out the sounds of laughing teenagers. It didn’t take long for someone to interrupt her powernap. 

“Toni?”

“Huh?” Toni looked up to see Mr. Carter looking down at her with a frown. “Oh. Good morning, Mr. Carter.”

“Morning.” He said, flashing her a close-mouthed smile. “Do you know where Martha is?”

Toni shrugged at him. “Dunno. I got a text from her saying she wouldn’t make it on time?” 

Mr. Carter sighed at the answer. “Alright then. Thank you.”

As he walked away to the front of the class, Toni checked her phone again, rolling her eyes when she still hadn’t received an answer from Martha to her text that asked her where the hell she was. Toni quickly put the device away and paid attention as the class began. 

“Good morning everyone. Open your textbook to page 45.”

Toni rested her face in the palm of her hand, losing her concentration as soon as she had opened the book. Whoever decided to put math as the first class of the day, really was a fucking idiot… or just someone who got high on making students suffer. 

Ten minutes had passed, and Toni still had no clue what this teacher was going on about, though her attention shifted to the door. Expecting it would be Martha, _Shelby fucking Goodkind_ walked through the door.

“Shelby!” Mr. Carter greeted the blonde, his eyes scanning the room before he turned back to her. “There’s a seat left next to Toni. You can sit there.”

Toni opened her mouth to shot back a response, but then shut it immediately, slouching down her chair and crossing her arms over her chest as she muttered under her breath, _“I’m in fucking hell.”_

She didn’t spare the blonde a glance, staring right ahead of her as Shelby occupied the seat right next to her. It wasn’t as if Toni hated everyone, or didn’t try to give people chances, but Shelby Goodkind was someone she despised. If she’d make a list of people she hated, the blonde Texan would be on top of her list. There was not _one_ good thing about that girl. 

“Help Miss. Goodkind out, will you Toni?” 

But Toni didn’t plan on doing any of that, acting as if she didn’t hear a word Mr. Carter had said. Fidgeting with the pencil in her hand, Toni tried her hardest to ignore the girl beside her. It worked for the next fifteen minutes, but that was until Shelby started to talk to her. 

“Toni?”

Toni just yawned, proceeding to not give the girl any second of her time. Right next to her she noticed Shelby shaking her head, groaning silently as she did.

It only made Toni want to annoy the girl even more. “What’s wrong? Can’t figure it out with your non-existent brain?” 

“Shut up, _dyke_.” Shelby shot back at her, clenching her jaw as she averted her gaze towards the front of the class.

Toni ‘s eyes widened at the slur. “What did you just call me?”

“You heard me.”

Toni could feel the anger rise up in her body, standing up from her seat. Her breathing became heavy as all eyes were drawn to her. In a moment of rage Toni kicked her chair backwards and faced Shelby while pointing a finger at her. “You better shut the fuck up now, Shelby, or I swear I’ll fucking end you.”

What Toni didn’t expect was Shelby standing up also, the two standing face to face. The blonde had a challenging grin on her face. “Try me.”

Toni didn’t think twice and used both her hands to shove Shelby to the ground. The small feeling of regret as she saw Shelby wincing in pain was soon replaced by more rage. With her fists clenched, Toni sprinted out of the classroom. 

The minutes passed as Toni wandered through the hallways, freezing on spot as the speaker sounded. “ _Toni Shalifoe and Shelby Goodkind, to the principal’s office_.”

“ _Fucking hell_ ,” Toni grunted, before making her way to the principal’s office. To her own surprise, the door was already opened and Toni decided to just enter the office. Principal Fisher looked up from the paper he was scanning, motioning to one of the seats across from him. “Toni, take a seat.”

With a deep sigh the brunette sat down in her usual position; slouched down with her arms crossed over her chest. Toni didn’t even bother to look over her shoulder as she heard Shelby enter the room. As soon as the blonde had taken her seat next to Toni, she started talking.

“Sorry I’m late, Mr. Fisher.” 

  
“It’s okay,” Mr. Fisher waved it off, only to then fold his hands on the desk in front of him and look at the two girls sternly. “What is not okay, is two of my students fighting with each other. Mr. Carter told me you even hurt a fellow student? Care to explain, Toni?”

Toni chuckled in disbelief, suddenly sitting upright. “She was saying homophobic shit—”

“Language, Shalifoe.”

“Sorry,” Toni sighed, giving Shelby a dead glare before continuing. “She was saying homophobic _things_ to me. I told her to stop, she didn’t. Then I pushed her and walked out of class. That’s it.”

Mr. Fisher raised an eyebrow at the girl next to her. “Is that true, Miss. Goodkind?”

Toni expected Shelby to go against her words, or lie. But the blonde didn’t. 

“Yes.”

In quite the confusion, Toni locked eyes with Shelby. “Shouldn’t you be whining about how I pushed you?”

Shelby, in her turn, just ignored the comment and turned her gaze towards Mr. Fisher. When Toni realized she wouldn’t respond, she followed her classmate’s movements. “So, what now? We’re free to go?”

“No.” Mr. Fisher started, writing something down in a notebook, before looking back up at the two. “Detention in 104 after 6th period. I’ll see you there. If you don’t show up, you’ll be having detention for two weeks, understood?”

Both girls nodded and left the office in silence. Toni just watched as Shelby hurried her way out of there, sighing inwardly at the thought of having detention with her later on. 

“Toni?”

Toni immediately averted her gaze towards the familiar face, all bad things forgotten when she saw her best friend. “Marty!”

She quickly ran up to her, hugging her tightly before realizing Martha should actually be in class. “Wait… what are you doing here?”

“Mom had an accident and I was running late, I totally forgot to inform school so now I’m stuck at detention this afternoon. Detention, can you believe it? I didn’t even do anything,” Martha finished with a frustrated sigh. She then pointed at the principal’s office. “What were you doing in there?”

“Well Marty… I guess you’re not alone in detention today…” 

“Seriously?” Martha gasped at her. “What did you do?”

Toni shrugged at the question. “ _You know who_ was being homophobic once again, so I pushed her. No biggie.”

“I can’t believe it.”

“Neither can I,” Toni said, before a grin appeared on her face. “She got detention as well, though. I’m gonna make it a living hell for her, bet.”

“Toni…”

“ _What?_ ” Toni raised her voice. “I’m done taking shit from her, Marty. I really am.”  
*******

The school day had finally come to an end, but was actually far from over for Toni. It was a few minutes after their last period, when Martha and Toni entered classroom 104; mostly used for detention. 

In there, Toni had already spotted the blonde who she despised, sitting all alone in the back of the class. Right behind her was Leah Rilke, one of the students she recognized from her English class.  
On the other side of the classroom, she noticed Rachel Reid, one of her teammates on the basketball team. Rachel being there wasn’t a surprise - that girl loved to create drama. But why her normally so innocent twin sister Nora was there; Toni had no clue.

Toni greeted her teammate with a lift of her chin, before sitting down on the desk beside Martha. It wasn’t as if there weren’t any chairs, Toni just liked sitting on tables. 

“What’d you do this time?”

Toni knew the voice belonged to Rachel without looking, and answered the question with a chuckle. “I shoved Miss. Beauty Pageant over there to the ground.” She let her eyes fall on Shelby’s back. “Turns out she hates homosexuals.”

“That’s harsh.”

“And outdated,” Nora added quietly.

But Shelby didn’t utter a sound, and that bothered Toni. Before she could go on, though, two other girls walked into the classroom, laughing loudly over… something. Toni knew the two; Fatin Jadmani and Dot Campbell. Complete opposites, yet best friends. Everyone knew them, although Toni had never spoken more than two words to either of them.

“Fatin and Dot, can you please take a seat?” 

Mr. Fisher walked in, a pile of papers in his hands. He first handed Shelby one, and then everyone else, before walking to the front of the class. “500 words on how to change the behavior that brought you here today. I’ll come back to check. Any questions?”

When it stayed silent, Mr. Fisher grabbed a cardboard box and stopped in front of Fatin. “Miss. Jadmani, your phone?”

“B-but my socials…” Fatin argued, looking at the principal in frustration.

“They’ll still be there in a few hours,” Mr. Fisher said, motioning for her to hand over her phone. “Come on.”

With a deep sigh, Fatin eventually put her phone in the box. After Mr. Fisher collected all the devices, he turned to everyone once again, the box resting on both his hands. “You’ll get them back when I see those 500 words. I’ll lock the door behind me, so no walking away. Good luck.”

The door was locked and Mr. Fisher’s footsteps had faded away, a silence fell over them. It didn’t last long, though.

“No one’s gonna do this, right?” Fatin asked, holding up the paper while looking around.

“Why don’t you shut up for once?” Leah retorted from the back of the class, flashing her a middle finger.

“Why don’t you ride that _minor-fucking_ writer’s dick?” Fatin shot back. “Oh wait, he’s in jail.”

“Fu—”

“Can we please be civil with each other here?” Shelby called out, receiving all sorts of glares. “I’ve had enough of all the bickering.”

And that was enough for Toni to open her mouth once again. “I’m actually quite enjoying it.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“How about we _all_ just shut the fuck up?” Dot interrupted, groaning loudly as she softly banged her head on the desk in front of her.

It remained silent after those words. Everyone stole a glance once in a while, the tension filled in the room was killing. Toni knew someone who hated that tension, and as if she wasn’t thinking of her right now, Shelby Goodkind stood up from behind her desk in the back of the class, walking upfront and turning to face everyone. “I propose a little icebreaker.”

“Like what?” Martha asked from beside Toni.

Toni looked at her best friend with a glare, confused as to why she would ever talk to the blonde. Sighing in annoyance, Toni watched the scene unfold. 

“Well y'all, how about… _never have I ever_?”

“Alright…” Fatin took the challenge. “Never have I ever cheated on someone.”

Toni watched as no one but Fatin put a finger down. And honestly, no one looked really surprised. 

“Ugh,” Fatin let out, rolling her eyes at everyone. “You are all so boring.”

“At least we’re not all as oblivious as Miss. Perfect over there, who’s boyfriend is obviously cheating on her,” Dot said from right beside Fatin, causing everyone to look at Shelby wide-eyed.

Toni knew about it, but didn’t exactly care. She just waited for Shelby’s argument, which came directly after. “Andrew is not like that.”

Dot shrugged at the blonde. “I know what I saw.”

“She won’t ever admit it anyway,” Toni scoffed, raising a brow at Shelby, who looked at Toni as if she was about to kill her. And Toni knew how to push her buttons even more. “Okay… never have I ever… kissed a girl.”  
Toni immediately put one of her fingers down, glancing around the classroom to – again, not exactly to her surprise – see Fatin do the same. Toni nodded at the girl, impressed. “Damn.”

“You never told me!” Dot gasped from beside Fatin, slapping her arm. 

Fatin shrugged at it. “I’m open to anything, aren’t I?”

“Unbelievable,” Dot chuckled, impressed as well. She then turned to face Leah in the back. “How about you come up with something?”

In the meantime, Toni stole a glance at Shelby, who had sat down on the teacher’s desk in front of the class, looking down at her lap as she fumbled with her fingers. Toni knew all too well why; the subject got a little _too gay_ for the homophobe.

“Fine,” Leah eventually huffed. “Never have I ever… thought about ending my life.”

The question was followed up by a moment of silence. No one seemed to know what to do, or what to say… or even how to sit. It stayed like that for a minute of five… maybe even ten. For the first time in Christ knows how long, Toni felt bad for Shelby. No one had forgotten what had happened last summer, when her best friend Becca Gilroy had committed suicide. No one knew why it happened, but it had been hard for the blonde, who cried at least once in class every day after. 

It was probably what had caused the silence; a silence that just dragged on… _and on_.

So, Toni decided to break the silence, and come forward. She stood up from the desk she had been sitting on and found all pairs of eyes staring at her. She nervously shrugged. “I have.”

“Me too.” Leah spoke up, looking at the pencil in her hand as she ignored any glance that shot her way.

“And me too,” Shelby silently admitted, trying to hold back her tears.

“Here’s to Becca,” Rachel spoke up hesitantly, raising her can of RedBull.

But the hesitation made way for respect in everyone else. “ _To Becca_.”

“You okay over there, blondie?” Dot asked Shelby, trying to check if she was doing fine.

When Shelby responded with a deep inhale and a nod, everyone knew it was okay. For some reason, the small confessions and paying of respect, had awoken some social ability in all the girls. It wasn’t as uncomfortable or tension filled anymore, but had taken a turn into the right direction.

They had talked and talked, not even realizing two hours had already passed, and it was way past school closing time. Only when Nora mentioned it another 30 minutes later, everyone realized what time it was. 

“No but really… where’s Mr. Fisher?” Martha asked.

“Yeah,” Rachel added. “Wasn’t he supposed to get us out of here like… two hours ago?”

Of course, everyone agreed on it, but the door was still closed, and in no way would they get it open without a key, or a phone to call the principal. 

“We’re so _fucked_ ,” Toni groaned, fumbling the piece of paper into a ball and throwing it in the direction of the bin. To her own frustration, she missed.

A sudden sound of the door unlocking, though, made all the girls look in the direction of the door. A moment later, the door opened and Mr. Fisher stood in the doorway, panting lightly as he placed the cardboard box with phones on the desk. “Girls! I’m so sorry, I completely forgot about detention. You can go.”

Fatin was the first to make her way out and grab her phone on the way. “Thank fuck.”

“I’m _so_ sorry girls,” Mr. Fisher said again, as if he was about to slap himself for being so stupid. 

A few minutes later, all the girls had finally left the school building. Toni smiled at the sight of Nora running around like a happy child, while Rachel shook her head at the sight, laughing. Leah wandered off alone, and so did Shelby. 

As Toni dropped an arm around Martha’s shoulder, Fatin drove by in her car with Dot, waving like crazy and honking. As she watched the car drive out of sight, and only Rachel and Nora were left, Toni faced her teammate. “See you at training tomorrow?”

“For sure,” Rachel responded, before running after Nora. “See you.”

Toni and Martha then walked the road back home. Sometimes Martha’s mother would drive them, or Martha would pick Toni up with her bike, but most of the time the two just walked together. Toni’s _‘house’_ was the first stop. Sighing, she hugged her best friend.   
“You sure you don’t want to sleep over at my place?” Marta asked after pulling away from the embrace.

Toni shook her head, pulling on the strings of her backpack. “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Martha smiled. “That was fun, right?”

Toni knew that Marty referred to detention. And if she were honest, the second part of it _was_ fun. “It was. I still hate _God’s perfect child_ , though. Why can’t she just drop the princess act? She’s obviously just as messed up as the rest of us.”

“Maybe you should stop being so hard on her…” Martha suggested silently.

Toni widened her eyes. “What? _Why?_ She’s the one with a problem.”

“Maybe,” Martha said, but shrugged a little after. “But you don’t know her life. It could help to stop judging someone without knowing their whole story.”

“And just let her be homophobic towards me?” Toni scoffed, walking away from her best friend. “Forget it, Marty.”

“Toni!”

But Toni just walked on without sparing Martha another glance. With her mind full of anger, Toni walked into the rat hole of a house she lived in, with even worse people. Ignoring her two little foster brothers and foster parents, she walked upstairs, slamming the door of her room shut behind her. 

Toni knew one thing for sure; she _hated_ her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey pals. first of all, sorry for any mistakes, haven't spell checked it. second; i'm really excited to write this fic. let me know what u think!! (really don't be shy) and until the next one x
> 
> since this chapter contains mentions of suicide... if you're having these thoughts, please reach out to someone. there's always help !!
> 
> feel free to talk to me on twitter or sumn: @fatinshoni


	2. - chapter two -

It had been two days since that slightly weird afternoon at detention. Toni had noticed how all the girls would often notice each other more, shooting each other glances, actually talk or even hang out on school property. It was crazy what one detention could do.

While Toni had no problem with the other girls, she did _still_ have a problem with Shelby Goodkind. Especially now that she had the nerve to show up at one of her most important basketball games of the year, sitting at the front of the stands with her asshole of a boyfriend. Toni waited for the announcer to call her up to the court, jumping up high and tucking her knees midair to keep her muscles warm.

The speaker then finally made the announcement, “ _And starting point guard... she hoops like a boss, best you don't cross! Our captain of Fillmore High’s Firebirds, number three: Toni Shalifoe!_ ”

Once the music sounded, Toni ran up the court, catching a basketball from the side and throwing it through the basket. She put her hands up to the people in the stands, who were yelling her name enthusiastically. With a smile on her face, the captain of the team shook hands with the opponents and referee, before making her way over to her position in the back of her team’s half. 

“Come on! Let’s win this!” she yelled to her teammates, clapping her hands together.

As both teams stood in full focus, the referee threw the ball in the air for a tip off. Toni’s teammate managed to tip the ball right to Rachel, who passed the ball back to Toni. Immediately starting a fast dribble over the midline, Toni passed the ball back to Rachel, who in her turn, crossed it over to the other side of the half. In a moment of time, Toni caught the ball from her teammate on the other side, not wasting a second as she juked past her opponent and took a shot at the basket; scoring a three-pointer. With her fists balled in front of her, she screamed out a celebration, getting more and more energy from the people calling her name. The match went back and forth between the number one and two of the league. After half the match, the running score was 23-18 in favor of the Firebirds.

In the ten-minute break that followed, Toni ran up towards Martha after receiving some instructions from coach Niabi. Slightly panting, Toni threw her arms around her best friend. “Thanks for being here.”

“Always,” Martha told her, before quickly pushing her away. “You’re so sweaty. You smell.”

“Gee, thanks,” Toni chuckled, looking to her right and freezing right on the spot when her eyes locked with Shelby’s. After what felt like a staring competition of hours, Toni came back to her senses, waving goodbye to Martha as she sprinted back to her team. 

She patted Rachel on the back, who turned to look at her with a smile. “Ha, Shalifoe. You’re once again bossing the game.”

“Couldn’t do it without your help,” Toni responded, smiling back at the girl. “Is Nora in the crowd?”

Rachel nodded. They both turned to look at the stands, as Toni’s eyes followed the direction Rachel’s finger was pointing at. Nora waved back at them happily with Dot and Fatin next to her, waving just as excitedly. 

Toni laughed at the sight. “Since when are those three friends?”

“Detention,” Rachel laughed, shrugging back at her. 

“Toni? Rachel? Come here, last instructions.”

They both stepped into the half circle around coach Niabi, listening as she gave the last few instructions before the last two quarters would start. “… let’s win this game.”

The Firebirds pepped each other up, ready for the second half of the game. The third quarter went extremely well in favor of Toni’s team, as they managed to push their lead to 31-22. When their one-minute in between break was over, the game had reached its last quarter; determining if either the win stayed at Fillmore High or would go to their rivals from Northside High. 

As Toni took one last look at the stands, she expected to see Martha supporting her and giving her some boost of energy. Instead, Toni witnessed as her best friend wasn’t even watching. No, her best friend was talking to _Shelby Goodkind_ of all people. 

It made Toni angry; that rage consuming every part of her body. The referee started the last fifteen minutes of the game, and all Toni could focus on was her anger. She knew it wasn’t going to end well, but she couldn’t stop herself. 

It started with some small fouls, something every player would do. But as the end came closer, her anger did too. Toni dribbled past one player, until she ran into another one, charging them aggressively. In a quick movement, Toni threw the ball away and started pointing her finger at the girl. “Get out of my _fucking_ way.”

As everyone else noticed what was going on, it became dead silent. The girl looked up at Toni in confusion, holding her hands up in defense. “Whoa. Calm down.”

Without thinking, Toni threw a punch at the girl, her fist colliding with the girl’s jaw. “ _Don’t_ tell me to calm down.”

“ _What the fuck?!_ ” The girl winced in pain, pressing her hand against the spot that got punched. 

Toni then pushed her opponent to the floor, breathing heavily as she tried to come to her senses. Sounds were becoming faint and when the realization finally hit, all she was met with were disgusted, fearful and overwhelmed stares. 

Toni didn’t know what to do, except for running away. And that’s exactly what she did.

She didn’t remember when was the last time she had ran this fast, but her feet just dragged her forward, one foot in front of the other, in a speed that even an average cyclist couldn’t keep up with. At the side of the road, Toni collapsed onto the ground. Tears had formed in the contours of her eyes, but she swallowed them, trying not to give in to being weak. 

She lay there for minutes, stretched out and panting until her lungs were able to catch up again. Toni didn’t even care about it being dark, or that no one knew where she was. She didn’t have a family that cared if she were dead. _Hell_ , even Marty didn’t seem to care anymore. 

The consequences of her actions from minutes before, were the least of her worries. Her biggest worry was life always being like this, facing this shit every fucking day. And it was all her own stupid fault. _Hers_ and no one else’s.

It was roughly twenty minutes later when Toni heard quiet footsteps coming her way. Not that she expected someone to show up, but this person _surely_ wouldn’t be on the list. Toni raised a brow at the girl in confusion as she sat down next to her.

“Nora? What are _you_ doing here?”

Nora shrugged in her hoodie. “Just checking if you’re okay.”

“How did you—”

“I followed you.”

“Why the hell would you do that?” Toni shot back at Rachel’s sister, shaking her head in what still felt like confusion.

“Like I said… I wanted to know if you’re okay,” Nora responded, nudging Toni’s shoulder with her own as she pointed at the car lights that came their way. “That’s for us.”

The vehicle stopped right in front of them, a smiling Dot hanging out of the passenger’s seat window. “Get in, before you get cold… or I don’t know… get eaten by a bear.”

Nora stood up, motioning for Toni to get into the car. While the captain of the Firebirds was still hesitant about everything, she decided to go along. As Toni and Nora got into the backseat, they were both met with Fatin’s entertained smile, directly looking at Toni. “You’re in _deep_ shit.”

“Trust me,” Toni sighed deeply. “ _I know_.”

“But we’ll help you get out of it,” Dot said, turning to look at her as well.

More confusion struck over Toni. “What the hell is going on?”

“Look, that detention made us, you know… connect? Or well… _not everyone_ ,” Fatin whispered the last bit. Toni didn’t even have time to ask what or why, because the girl went on shortly after starting the engine. “Anyway…you have friends now, angry dummy.”

Toni didn’t even know what happened, but it all seemed genuine, and Toni _knew_ when someone was either manipulating her or being fake. “Thanks, I guess? But… who’s _us_?”

“Oh, just us here,” Dot shrugged as she turned to her once again, before pointing at Nora. “That one, and of course Rachel.”

“And Martha, if she feels like it,” Nora added from next to Toni.

“I’m not sure if I want anything to do with her right now,” Toni muttered under her breath, slouching down the backseat. 

“Oh! Spill the tea,” Fatin spoke loudly, locking eyes with Toni through the rear view. 

“She’s bonding with Shelby,” Toni said with a face of disgust. “I can’t believe it.” 

“Ah, come on, Toni. She can’t be _that_ bad, right?” Dot asked, looking at the road ahead of them.

“Being a homophobic piece of shit is enough for me,” Toni scoffed.

“I mean, yes…” Dot spoke. “I guess that’s enough.”

“More than enough,” Nora added, as Fatin nodded in agreement.

As they continued talking about everything and nothing, Fatin first dropped Nora off at home. Dot rolled the car window down, motioning at the house. “Rachel home safe yet?”

Nora nodded. “Yeah, our dad brought her home.” She then waved at the car. “Bye. See you tomorrow.”

After waving her goodbye, the three drove towards where Toni lived. Anxiously, Toni told them to stop a few hundred meters away from the actual place. Toni stepped out of the car, her backpack hanging over her shoulder, still thankful that these girls even thought of bringing along the bag. As small as she felt right now, she just looked at Fatin and Dot. 

“You sure this is it?” Dot asked fairly, since they were literally in the middle of nowhere. 

Toni gave a quick nod. “Positive.”

“Alright then,” Dot responded, still quite suspicious but letting it slide anyway. 

“We’ve got your back,” Fatin said from behind the steering wheel. “So, don’t worry about what’ll happen.”

“Thanks, guys.”

And with that, the two drove away from Toni. A deep inhale and exhale later, Toni wandered off to the house she lived in. That night she didn’t sleep, unsure of what the next day would bring.

_******* _

“Therefore, we have decided to take away your captaincy and a 3-game suspension. As for school… one more strike and you’ll have a 3-day suspension. You’re lucky Miss. Jadmani and Miss. Campbell took the blame, but having these kinds of bets are not okay. Don’t do this again, okay?” Mr. Fisher spoke, looking at Toni sternly, as Coach Niabi stared at her from the other side of the room.

“Fine,” Toni mumbled.

“Alright then,” Mr. Fisher sighed. “You’re joining Dot and Fatin in detention this afternoon. Coach Niabi will be there to keep an eye on you three… or whoever else joins, you kids are disappointing a lot these days. Anything else to add, Esha?”

“I don't like doing this but... no trainings until you’ve sat through your suspension, alright?” Coach Niabi told her, flashing Toni a sad smile.

If she were honest, Toni expected much worse… like being banned from the basketball team, or _actually_ being suspended from school, but Dot and Fatin _really_ saved her ass. She made a mental note to thank them later today. 

“Can I go now?”

Mr. Fisher responded with a nod, and Toni made her way out of the principal’s office as fast as possible. Because of the conversation, she was fifteen minutes late to math class, but luckily, she had gotten a note to give to Mr. Carter.

Without knocking, Toni opened the door of the classroom, interrupting Mr. Carter midsentence, as he was explaining some formula bullshit. She handed him the note. “Here.”

He nodded as he read the note, before scanning the classroom for an empty seat. Once Toni noticed there was yet again an empty one next to Shelby, she tried to talk her way out of it. “You know, actually—”

“You can sit next to Shelby. No fights this time, okay?”

Toni rolled her eyes at the words, sauntering over to crash down on the seat next to Shelby. Opening her book and pretending to know what they were doing, Toni succeeded to ignore the blonde next to her. 

Another fifteen minutes had passed of Toni being clueless, but yet being content because she managed to ignore Shelby. What she didn't know was that Mr. Carter would soon put an end to that.

“Here’s a few booklets with learning material and a few assignments that I want you to work out with a partner. Find the time outside of school hours to work on it, we’ll discuss it in two weeks,” Mr. Carter said, handing out the booklets. Toni’s last bit of hope was shattered, when he spoke the next few words. “Since I let you pick partners on your own last time, and you guys couldn’t do that in a normal way, the person you’re sitting with is your assigned partner. You can use the last fifteen minutes to talk it over. Good luck.”

Toni was anxiously chewing on her pencil, knowing that if she’d make another scene, she’d be in deeper shit. She wanted nothing more than to throw the blame on Shelby for talking to Martha, who Toni hadn’t spoken to since what happened. But Toni couldn’t afford another slip up. So, she decided to put on a mask, and actually try to be civil with Shelby. 

_Only in school hours, though._

“So,” she said, turning to face the blonde next to her. “How we gonna do this?”

Shelby, in her turn, locked eyes with Toni, confusion written all over her face. “What?”

“The assignment?” Toni went on, nodding at the booklet.

“Oh, uh…” The blonde ran a hand through her hair, avoiding Toni’s stare. “I guess I could come to your house—”

“Hell no. We’re going to your house,” Toni shot back, already feeling sick at the thought of it. 

Toni then noticed a sudden change in the way Shelby acted. As if something made her extremely hesitant… nervous, or maybe even scared? It didn’t exactly sit well with Toni, “Hey, we could also do it in like… a public spot? If you don’t want me to—”

“I…” Shelby cut her off, exhaling deeply with her eyes closed, before turning to face Toni. “I do. It’s just… complicated. But a public place will do.”

“Sure,” Toni responded, faking a smile at the girl. She then handed Shelby her phone. “I do need your phone number… a pigeon would be a little too much effort.”

The joke made Shelby laugh, even if it was just softly and only for a second. For some reason, it made Toni smile as well, dropping it soon after realizing. As the bell rang, she snatched her phone from the girl next to her and made her way out of the classroom. 

_An assignment with Shelby Goodkind_. It was surely the work of some fucking devil. 

The school day went by quickly. The last thing would be sitting out a detention with Dot and Fatin, who she hadn’t seen all day. As she entered the classroom, Dot already sat in the back of the class, flashing her a wave. “There she is.”

“Where’s Fatin?” Toni asked her, wondering why she wasn’t here.

Dot patted the seat next to her, interrupted from explaining as Coach Niabi entered the classroom. “Just you two?”

“I guess,” Dot shrugged. “Or the others just didn’t bother to show up.”

“Alright,” Coach Niabi sighed, leaning against the desk at the front of the room. “I don’t have any assignment or whatever, so it’s just an hour of being dead silent. I’m quickly gonna grab a coffee, be right back.”

As soon as she left the classroom, Dot leaned towards Toni. “So, after Fatin dropped me off at home last night, she accidently hit someone with her car. Guess who?”

Toni looked at her wide-eyed. “Who?”

“ _Leah Rilke_ ,” Dot whispered. “She called me in total hysteria, saying she was at the hospital and that she felt bad and all that. Today she stayed home because, you know… these things spread like wildfire.”

“ _Whoa_ ,” Toni let out. “Is Leah okay?”

“Considering the circumstances…” Dot trailed off. “I think so, yes.”

"And Fatin?"

Toni heard a small sigh from beside her. "Hanging in there, I guess."

“And I thought _I_ was having a hard time today,” Toni sighed, shaking her head. She then looked over at Dot. “Thanks for saving my ass, by the way. You _really_ didn’t need to do that.”

“That’s what friends are for,” Dot smiled back at her. “But what happened today?”

“Got paired up with Shelby for a math assignment,” Toni answered, groaning in frustration. “And I have to be nice, because if I flip once again, I’ll get suspended.”

“Maybe you’ll become friends,” Dot joked from beside her. “Or _lovers_.”

Toni slapped her shoulder, just in time as Coach Niabi walked back in with a cup of coffee in her hand. The woman sat down behind the desk as she scrolled through her phone and took a sip from the drink.

“ _In your dreams_ ,” Toni whispered to Dot, who mouthed a _we’ll see_ back to her.

But Toni was one hundred percent sure that her and Shelby would _never_ be friends. It was simple: just one assignment, then they’d both forget it ever happened. Or at least, Toni hoped they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading, the kudos and the few who told me their thoughts. i appreciate it so much. it took me a while to get myself to write, but i'm quite content with the result, i hope you are too. it would really give me a writing boost if you'd tell me your thoughts, or whatever you want to see next... it's all welcome!! 
> 
> also someone just asked me how it was possible for dot and fatin to take part of the blame, and if the firebirds still got the win. to explain it: dot and fatin told the coach that they made a stupid bet (of toni punching one of the rivals), which is, of course, a lie. the team still won... but as you guys read; toni is no longer captain anymore and has to sit through a 3-game suspension. hope that explains it all (:
> 
> sorry for any spelling mistakes, haven't spell checked it. but eh, until the next one <3
> 
> (follow me on twitter: @fatinshoni)


	3. - chapter three -

If it weren’t for their strong bond, and Martha would’ve been someone Toni had met only a few months ago, it would’ve taken Toni way more time to talk things over, but Martha was her best friend, and had been her best friend for years. Anytime a minor inconvenience happened, the two would fix it as soon as possible. 

Martha was the only family she’d ever had, and in _no way_ would she ever risk losing the person she loved most.

So days after the basketball incident, on a warm, yet chilly, Friday evening, they sat in the backyard of Martha’s house as the light of day turned into a shimmering glaze.

Toni had always loved the nights she stayed over at Marty’s; it somehow felt carefree. She pushed her knees up to her chest, averting her gaze from the sky to Martha. “Thank you for letting me stay.”

Martha turned to her with a small smile. “You know you’re always welcome here. We love having you around.”

Toni felt the corners of her mouth go up, forming a thankful smile as she stared back at the sky. 

They stayed like that for a while, until Martha’s mom came up to them, handing both of them a glass of water. “You two are probably feeling thirsty.”

“Now that you mention it…” Toni said, taking the drink in her hand. “Thanks, Bernice.”

“You’re welcome. Have fun girls,” she said, before heading back inside. 

As Toni took a sip from her water, she turned to Martha again. “Doing anything fun this weekend?”

Martha shrugged. “Not really. Might do something fun with my siblings. What about you?”

Then suddenly, the realization hit Toni. Of _fucking_ course, it _had_ to be tomorrow. A frustrated sigh left her body. “I have that stupid assignment with Shelby tomorrow.”

“It’ll be okay, Toni,” Martha reassured her. “You haven’t fought with her in like… a week.”

“Only because I’ve been forced to be nice.”

“ _Toni…_ ” Martha sighed, shaking her head. “How bad can it be? You’re meeting up somewhere public, it won’t take days to finish it and before you know it, it’s over.”

“Knowing my luck, something will ruin it completely,” Toni scoffed, already dreading the next day.

“At least you didn’t hit her with a car,” Martha tried to joke, which surprisingly worked.

Toni laughed in amusement, thinking about the first day Fatin returned to school after the accident. “Fatin was _so_ embarrassed.”

“Right?” Martha exclaimed. “All I can see is Fatin walking into school with those dark shades on, sitting in the back of the class with that hoodie all over her head.”

“Please,” Toni chuckled as she recalled the moment. “She can’t even look Leah in the eye anymore.”

“We should definitely help her clear things up with Leah.”

“ _Definitely_ ,” Toni agreed, yawning lightly. “But first, I need a good ass sleep to survive being around Miss. Beauty Pageant tomorrow.”

Martha laughed at the words, both her and Toni making their way inside. After saying goodnight to Martha’s family, the two got ready to have some sleep. 

Toni crashed down on the matrass next to Martha’s bed, yawning again. “Goddamn, I’m exhausted.”

“Then how about we go to sleep?”

“Good point,” Toni said, checking her phone one last time before closing her eyes. It didn’t come that far, though, as a message popped up her screen.

**Shelby Goodkind (10:38 P.M.):** _Hey Toni. Sorry to bother. I know we were supposed to meet up at that café tomorrow, but I just got grounded. Is there any chance we could do it at my place?_

Toni’s eyes widened at the text, not expecting it to be Shelby who sent her the message. All she could do was groan in frustration. “ _Fuck_.”

“What’s going on?” Martha asked her immediately.

“Turns out Shelby is grounded and we can only do the assignment at her place,” Toni mumbled. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can.” _  
_

“Her parents are probably really fucking against me, Marty…” Toni trailed off.

“Why would you think that?”

Toni threw her phone to the side, running her hands over her face. “She got those beliefs from somewhere, doesn’t she? And doesn’t her father do all this church shit?” 

Martha hummed a _‘true’_ at that. 

“That’s probably why she didn’t want me to come over in the first place.”

Martha hung over the side of her bed, facing Toni. “She didn’t?”

“No,” Toni said, frowning as she thought back to it. “She even looked scared.”

“It’s probably nothing to worry about. I think Shelby will make sure of that,” Martha told her softly, moving back to turn off the light. “Let’s just call it a night. Sleep well, Toni.”

_Except Shelby hated her guts._

“Yeah, _sure_ ,” Toni muttered under her breath, rolling over to the other side. “Night, Marty.”

*******

“Are you sure? I mean, I have no problem walking th—”

“I insist, Toni. Just hop in the car with us and we’ll bring you there,” Bernice said, grabbing her car keys from the counter and motioning for Toni and Martha to follow her.

When Toni finally accepted that Martha’s mother wasn’t going to change her mind, she followed behind and sat in the backseat of the car as Martha took place in the passenger’s seat next to Bernice. 

The second they started driving, Martha turned to face Toni with a grin, and Toni knew what that meant. Another one of those questions her best friend already knew the answer to.

“So, are you ready?”

“Hell, no.” It was Toni’s immediate response, sighing as she slouched down the backseat. “I don’t even know what to expect. I think that might scare me the most.”

“Ah, come on, Toni. They won’t kill you,” Martha laughed back at her, making Bernice laugh beside her, who eyed Toni in the rearview. “I’m sure it’ll be all normal, Toni. Don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Blackburn.”

After a few minutes, they arrived at the address Shelby had sent her this morning. To Toni, it was a beautiful house, given the circumstances she grew up in. To the average person, though, it’d be a normal house in an above average neighborhood.

Rolling her eyes already, Toni went in to hug Martha and thanked Bernice after, before stepping out of the vehicle and waving the Blackburns goodbye. With her backpack hanging loosely over her shoulder and a – what Toni wouldn’t call nervous, but actually was nervous, exhale, she made her way onto the small front porch of the house. 

There was a doorbell. Should she ring it? Or just knock? Or would that be too weird?

“ _Get your shit together_ ,” Toni muttered to herself, shaking her head as she went with the first option and rang the doorbell.

A few minutes later, a man who must be in his early-forties, opened the door. He looked down at Toni with a frown, before probably realizing she was a classmate. “You must be Shelby’s classmate.”

“Yup,” Toni responded sternly, before pointing inside. “Can I come in?”

It took the man, who Toni assumed to be Shelby’s dad, a few seconds to come back to reality and let her in. “Oh yes, sorry.” As she entered the house, he stuck out his hand. “Dave Goodkind. Shelby’s father.”

Hesitantly, Toni shook his hand. “Toni Shalifoe.”

An awkward silence fell over them, and Toni immediately felt a vibe that she knew all too well. It wasn’t as if she expected anything else, but the feeling yet again confirmed it. Luckily, Shelby walked down the stairs, her eyes turning wide when she noticed Toni. “Toni? You’re here already?”

“You said early in the afternoon,” Toni shrugged at the blonde. “It’s 12.30.”

“Oh… uh, yeah.” Shelby quickly eyed her father, who raised an eyebrow at the interaction, before interrupting them. “You could do the assignment at the dining table?”

“Aren’t Spence and Melody there too?” Shelby complained.

“You know the rules, Shelby,” Dave Goodkind said with a strict tone. “Not after what happened.”

Toni felt way too uncomfortable in the situation. And although she wondered what all of this was about, she wanted to make it easier for herself _and_ Shelby’s sake. So, she scratched her throat lightly, earning their attention. “It’s fine, Shelby. Let’s just get started?”

Shelby nodded at her, walking in front of her as they made their way through the house, and to the dining table, where Shelby’s two smaller siblings were playing with something at the end of the table. 

Shelby sat down at the other end. Toni followed her movements and sat down next to her, unsure what to do, so she just tapped her foot on the ground in slight anxiety, gazing around the house as she waited for Shelby to say something. 

Eventually, she did.

“So, let’s start with the first question?” 

“Sure,” Toni nodded as she watched Shelby open up the booklet with the assignments. Toni chewed on her pencil in boredom and nervosity, until noticing that she knew exactly how to solve the first question. It was the only thing she ever got right about math, but it would help them move on to the next one. “I got this one, here look.”

Toni explained the answer to the blonde beside her, who was following and listening attentively. As she mic-dropped the pencil, she laughed, “… and that’s the only math thing I understand.”

When she heard Shelby quietly laughing at the statement, Toni found herself looking at the blonde, not even realizing how her own lips curled up into a small smile. But when Dave Goodkind walked into the dining room with a judging glance, Shelby immediately stopped and bowed over the booklet. 

Toni watched as he kissed Shelby’s younger brother and sister on top of their heads, taking place behind the kitchen counter as he scanned a newspaper. In the short time she’d been here, things felt _weird_.

He stood, or sat there the whole entire time as they worked on the assignment. Toni tried to focus on the questions, all while switching her attention to the man in the back of the room every few seconds. She tried to do it as inconspicuous as possible, trying not to involve Shelby. 

A little more than two hours had passed, as they were working out the last question in the booklet. Toni yawned, as she often did, and sat back. “This shit is taking so fucking long.”

“Can you watch your mouth?”

Toni immediately looked up at the direction of the remark, locking eyes with Shelby’s father. It was enough for her blood to start boiling, even slowly. Trying to swallow her words, she put on a fake smile. “Will do. Sorry, Mr. Goodkind.”

“And Shelby?”

Toni looked over at Shelby, who faced her father. “Yes, dad?”

“Don’t make it too late. Tonight’s another Pageant and you need to be ready on time. I don’t want anyone seeing you with people like her.”

_One more word from this man, and Toni knew she’d completely lose it._

“Of course, dad.”

Toni tried her best to contain herself. Not that she expected Shelby to defend her, since the blonde was a bully herself, but Toni wanted to believe that Shelby was a better person than she thought. As Dave Goodkind looked away from them, Toni sighed inwardly, feeling Shelby’s eyes on her. Toni ignored it, rushing through the last question and closing the booklet quickly. “See, all done.”

Within a short amount of time, Toni had zipped down her backpack and stood up from behind the dining table, looking down at Shelby who looked at her in confusion. “I should go.”

Toni walked away without sparing anyone another glance, wanting to be out of that house as quickly as possible.

Turned out, she wasn’t fast enough.

“Toni, wait!”

Shelby ran up behind her, softly pushing her out of the doorway and onto the front porch, as she closed the door behind them. Toni held onto the strap of her backpack, wondering _what the fuck_ was going on. “What? Are you coming to give me a lecture on how I can’t say certain words? Or how I should be _less gay_ around here? How your whole family, including yourself, hate my fucking guts? Sorry, Shelby, but I can’t be here any longer.”

Shelby ran a hand through her blonde hair, quickly looking through the window before crossing her arms over her chest, trying to respond. “I don’t hate you, Toni. You get that, right?”

Toni kept a stern face, not believing a word she said. “Yeah, you actually do though. And you have no problem showing it, always thinking you’re better than everyone else.”

“That’s not what this is.”

“Then what is it, Shelby?” Toni shot back angrily. 

“I… I know you think that this is who I am…” Shelby spoke, looking down at the ground. “But I’m not.”

Toni laughed in disbelief at the words. “This is _exactly_ who you are. You know what? I almost felt sorry for you, being around that man and letting him have control over you. But this is what you want, _this_ is who you are. I should’ve known better.”

“You don’t know what I’m going through.”

“I don’t?” Toni asked, throwing her hands up. “Well, enlighten me.”

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be pitch perfect every second?” Shelby started, meeting Toni’s gaze. “To be watched like a hawk for the slightest bit of weight gain, or the tiniest wobble in my heel… or if my hem is just a centimeter off regulation o...or I say the wrong thing about international politics? _God_ , help me.”

Even more disbelief was what Toni felt after hearing the words. “So, you’re complaining about being judged, when you literally signed up for that?”

Shelby looked down once again, knowing Toni was right. “I know… I-I know, but… I’m not just talking about pageant stuff. It feels like everywhere I go, somebody’s asking me to like… to meet some kind of expectation?” A small sigh left her mouth, before finishing her explanation. “It’s a lot. It’s all the pressure.”

“Yeah, well. My dad’s been a no-show since day one and my mom’s in and out of rehab like it’s a fucking white castle, so nobody expects shit from me,” Toni retorted. “Doesn’t feel great either.”

When Shelby didn’t say anything, Toni went on. “Do you know how many field trips I’ve had to bail on because no one’s been there to sign my permission slip? You know, I don’t give a fuck about going to the planetarium, it just would have been nice to have someone say that I could.”

“Yeah,” Shelby responded, trying to say something. “But—”

“But what? Shelby, if you’re trying to outsad me, it’s a losing fucking battle.”

Before Shelby could say anything else, the front door opened. Toni was breathing heavily, trying to hold back more of her anger as she noticed Mr. Goodkind standing in the door opening. 

“Is everything alright here?” He frowned, switching glances between both girls. “Shelby come back inside; you need to get ready.”

Toni moved the sleeve of her sweater past her nose, turning to walk away from that goddamned house and that fucked up family. She didn’t bother to say another word or take another glance and made her way out of the neighborhood. 

Right at that moment, her phone buzzed. Toni opened the message, which was from Fatin in the group chat with the other girls. 

**Fatin (3.17 P.M.):** _party at my place tonight!_

The message followed up with another one.

**Fatin (3.18 P.M.):** _you all better be there_

After such a hell of an afternoon, Toni knew she had to get her mind off of things. She’d never been a party person - the times she went to one could be counted on one hand, but she was in need of some distraction. And what better option for that other than a party? _Yeah_ , the decision had been made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you so much for reading, the kudos and the comments. let me know your thoughts!! i absolutely love reading them. also wow, almost 2000 reads and more than 100 kudos, i'm lowkey overwhelmed lol. big thanks.
> 
> a party at fatin's next chapter, what could go wrong? maybe a certain someone will show up there too,,, who knows hehe
> 
> sorry for any spelling mistakes, haven't spell checked it. until next time! (: 
> 
> (follow me on twitter: @fatinshoni)


	4. - chapter four -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title and synopsis were getting on my nerves so my indecisive ass changed it, sorry if it caused any confusion lol. anygays, thank you so much for reading!! 200 kudos and over 3000 reads, pretty overwhelming if you ask me. have fun reading this chapter x

“Do I really have to come with you? This is not exactly my _scene_ …” Martha complained, walking shortly behind Toni.

Toni, in her turn, grabbed Martha’s arm and dragged her to the front door of Fatin's house. Music was already blasting inside, and there were people outside as well, seeming to have escaped the crowded intensity inside. “Come on, Marty. Just this one night?” 

A loud sigh and a _‘fine’_ later, Toni knocked on the door, only for it to already be open. With furrowed brows she walked inside and motioned Martha to follow her, unsure what to expect when they’d enter the house. 

It was gigantic to say the least.

No one noticed the two best friends as they walked into the living room, not even a single glance came their way, or well… that’s what Toni thought at first. 

“Toni! Martha!”

Pushing her way through sweaty bodies, Fatin took her time to give both Toni and Martha a short embrace, before handing the both of them a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage it was. “I almost thought you wouldn’t come!”

“If it were her choice, we wouldn’t have,” Toni laughed, flashing Martha a soft smile as she did. “What about the other girls?”

Fatin nodded, moving closely to Toni as she scanned the house, before happily pointing at them. “There they are!”

Toni’s eyes followed the direction the party-host was pointing at. They first landed on Dot, who was enthusiastically talking to Nora in the back of the room. To their side was Rachel, with the teammates of the basketball team. 

_Right,_ Toni thought, _still suspended_.

“Well, I’m gonna go over there,” Toni said, patting Fatin on the shoulder as she motioned for Martha to follow her through a path of people she was sure she’d never seen before, or maybe she just didn’t pay attention at school. It was probably a mix of both.

“There are my two favorite besties!” Dot greeted them, raising her glass.

Toni leaned back on the windowsill, before clinking glasses with Dot’s and Nora’s. “What’s up?”

“I totally didn’t wanna come,” Nora sighed as she eyed Rachel. “She dragged me here.”

“Guess that makes two of us,” Martha chimed in as she looked over at Toni. 

“Go us!” Nora chuckled, giving Martha a high five in the process. 

As the two went on talking, Toni had completely zoned out of it all, thinking back to earlier that day, she chugged the drink all the down her throat. Dot, in her turn, looked at her with a raised brow. “Whoa, easy. You okay?”

Toni shrugged, flashes of her fight with Shelby roaming around in her mind. “Just a rough day, that’s all.”

“It’ll be fine,” Dot said, softly stomping Toni’s shoulder as a sign of reassurance. 

“Yeah…” Toni agreed silently. “But if she shows up here, I’m gone.”

“Getting a little lost here, Shalifoe.”

“Shel—”

_No fucking way._

Toni’s blood started boiling when she saw Shelby walking in with Andrew. Her jaw clenched at the sight, trying to hold back all the frustration she felt. 

Martha must’ve noticed, because she went to stand next to Toni. “Wasn’t she grounded?”

“Yes.” Toni’s answer was short and hard, her gaze following everything that was happening. 

The music had turned down and majority of the party attenders were clapping at the two, Andrew having his hands on Shelby’s shoulders as they walked through. He then stopped in the middle, pointing both fingers at the blonde. “Guess who won her fifteenth pageant today?!”

Toni rolled her eyes at the scene, shaking her head as several people began to congratulate Shelby and other guys from school were greeting Andrew. In reality it was a maximum of five minutes,

but to Toni the whole thing felt like an hour. So, when the music was finally turned back on, and not all the attention was on those two anymore, she could finally let her anger die down a little. 

“I think you just summoned them,” Dot then said, an awkward smile following after.

“ _I can’t fucking believe it_ ,” Toni muttered under her breath, turning away from everyone and searching for a way out. When she noticed the two doors to the backyard were open, she slipped through it. Only a deep inhale and exhale later, she started scanning the backyard, which was just as rich looking as the inside of the house. There, on the grass though, she saw a person sitting. 

_It wouldn’t hurt to talk to them, right?_

With a clear of her throat, Toni sat down next to the person, which she found out seconds ago, was Leah Rilke. Toni pushed her knees up to her chest, picking at the grass around her. “So… what are _you_ doing here, all alone?”

Leah just shrugged. “Here with a friend, trying not to go crazy.”

“Actually,” Toni said, dropping a few pieces of grass on the ground. “I can relate.”

“Shouldn’t you be inside then?” 

Toni quickly looked over her shoulder, then turned back and shook her head. “Nah. Needed to get some air, you know.”

“Right…” Leah trailed off with a sigh, before turning to look at Toni. Only then, Toni noticed the still visible bruises on the side of her face, which must have been caused by the car accident. “ _Shit_ , that still looks painful.”

“Oh, _this_?” Leah asked, pointing at her face. She just waved it off. “It’s fine.”

“How did that even happen?” Toni asked curiously. “I mean I know Fatin doesn’t exactly _like_ you, but I assume she didn’t do it on purpose.”

Leah chuckled at that, before answering the question. “Honestly, it was all my fault. I was listening to music in the middle of the street, not paying attention at all and then, well… yeah.”

“Then Fatin’s car fucked you over,” Toni added with a small grin. 

“Exactly,” Leah confirmed, laughing along with her. “She keeps on saying it’s her fault, and she’s been awfully nice since.”

Toni nodded with a chuckle. “The guilt’s getting to her.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Leah sighed, looking straight ahead of her. “But it’s better than being hated.”

“Trust me,” Toni spoke quietly. “I know the feeling.”

*******

Over an hour later, the party was still fully ongoing, the only things that had changed were the facts that a lot of people were _really_ drunk and that there were games going on. Toni had the idea to take Leah to the other girls, so her and her friend, Ian, wouldn’t feel as out of place anymore. Toni herself though, had some catching up to do with the basketball team. 

Without her, the team had lost the two next games, meaning things were going to shit when their point guard wasn’t there. “Only one more game until I’m back!” Toni shouted over the music, raising her glass for a toast. “Let’s cheers to that.”

“Damn right!” Rachel agreed, toasting along with the others. 

After discussing more basketball stuff, Toni went back to the other girls, where Fatin had joined them. Once she noticed Toni, she – once again, moved to give her a hug. “Okay, okay,” Toni said, pushing her away softly. “That’s enough affection.”

Fatin then looked at her with a pout, before sighing as she noticed something on the other side of the room. “They’re literally puking all over the floor. My parents are gonna kill me.”

“That’s just nauseating,” Nora said with a face of disgust. 

“I’d better hurry,” Dot mentioned to Fatin with a grin. “Before the house turns into _vomit-paradise_.”

Fatin groaned, stamping her way to the scene as they all watched in amusement. As Toni scanned the house – as far as she could, she didn’t see any sign of Shelby. Not that she even cared, but it did feel… _suspicious._

Putting her glass on the windowsill, she quickly brushed past Martha, who was talking to Leah and Ian. “Gonna go to the bathroom real quick, be right back.”  
  
Martha nodded in response to it, seeming to be enjoying herself after all. _At least that was going well._

Toni hurried her way through all the chaos, the noise fading away from her as she shut the door of the hallway behind her, in search of the bathroom, or wherever she could catch a breath. When she came to the conclusion that nowhere near her was any sign of a bathroom or toilet, she decided to climb the stairs instead. Upstairs it seemed to be just as gigantic as downstairs. 

“ _Unbelievable_ ,” Toni whispered to herself.

A few steps in, she noticed a door that looked a lot like a bathroom could be behind it. She put the door handle down immediately, only for it not to open. Toni waited for what felt like at least five minutes, which was already dreading. So, without thinking, she pounded on the door. “Hurry up!”

A few seconds later, she heard the sound of a door unlocking. Moments later, it opened, but Shelby Goodkind was the last person she expected to see. For a split second, they both froze, their eyes connecting in the process. Toni noticed how puffy the area around her normally so wonderful green eyes were, but noticed even more how bloodshot they were. Something was up. “Shelby?”

The blonde released her grip on the door handle, taking a few steps back before resting her back against the wall. Unsure of what to do, Toni quietly closed the door behind herself, leaning against it to make sure there was enough space between them. 

It didn’t take long for Toni’s eyes to find the empty bottle of vodka on the basin. And since Shelby still hadn’t said anything, Toni knew she had to get it out of her. Did she want to make that effort for someone who had always treated her like shit? _No_. Did she want to leave someone behind who was obviously wasted and feeling miserable? _Also no_. The choice was easily made.

“What’s going on with you, Shelby?” she asked, tucking on the sides of her beige jacket. 

“Why would _you_ care?”

Toni just shrugged, meeting Shelby’s eyes in the process. “You look like you need help. So, here I am.”

With a bit of hesitation, Toni walked up to Shelby, sitting on the side of the bath edgeways from her. The distance between them was still there, but not as impersonal anymore. Toni knew it was something that would help, even just slightly. She looked up at the blonde. “ _Well?_ ”

It took Shelby a moment, a deep sigh and the avoidance of eye-contact, but eventually she spoke up. “Andrew he… he wanted to, _you know_?” Shelby let out a laugh of disbelief. “I told him I didn’t want to.”

“And he should respect that,” Toni stated, solidly speaking the truth.

“Yeah, well… he didn’t,” Shelby added, trying to hold back her emotions. “He tried to force me, until I pushed him away. He then just got up and left me behind.”

“I’m sorry, Shelby,” Toni spoke honestly. “Even _you_ don’t deserve that.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“When would I ever do that?” Toni shot back, looking up at the blonde with a playful grin. 

“True,” Shelby chuckled, wiping away a tear that had slid down her cheek. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem,” Toni said, flashing her a small smile. “Weren’t you grounded though?”

Shelby sighed at the question. “Yeah, well, since I won the pageant tonight, my father told me I should celebrate it with Andrew and his family. He thinks I’m at his house for the night.”

“You’re not going back there, are you?” Toni asked with a slight worry that she didn’t even know existed when it came to Shelby Goodkind. 

“ _I-I_ have to…” Shelby said, looking down as she fumbled with her fingers. “If my dad finds out…”

“Then what?”

“ _I-I_ don’t know,” Shelby whispered with a shrug. She closed her eyes and let out a deep exhale before opening them. “I guess I’ll just go to Andrew’s.”

“After what he did?” Toni asked, frowning at her.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s definitely not _nothing_ , Shelby.”

“Why do you even care?” Shelby gritted at her, then moved away from the wall, making her way to the door.

 _Wanna play that game? Fine._ “I don’t.”

“Exactly,” Shelby spat at her. “So, stop telling me what to do.”

Toni felt the anger in her system rising up. Without giving it a second thought, she walked up to Shelby, less than a footstep between them. “Or what?”

The blonde didn’t say anything, her glance flickering up and down Toni’s face in the process. As she seemed to snap out of it, she turned around to open the door and hurried away from Toni.

“That’s what I thought!” Toni yelled at Shelby as she watched her go, her jaw clenched in fury. “Fuck off!”

Moments later, Toni was still consumed by rage, speeding her way back to Martha and the others. The whole gang looked at her as she placed her hands on the windowsill and squeezed her grip tighter and tighter. With her eyes closed, she attempted to let go of it. Almost on the verge of losing herself, she felt a pair of arms around her waist and familiar weight on her left shoulder. 

“ _Shhh_ ,” Martha whispered into her ear. “It’s okay.”

Toni took a deep breath, and another… and another. It took a moment, maybe longer than a moment, but eventually she let go. Turning around in the grip, she wrapped her own arms around Martha. “Thank you, Marty.”

Trying not to look all emotional and soft, she released herself from the embrace, only to notice that no one was even looking at them anymore. And for some reason, it felt like a reassurance to Toni. She slowly turned to Martha, leaning in closely. “Is it cool if we leave?”

“Of course,” Martha said with a reassuring smile. “Right now?”

Toni nodded at the question, saying goodbye to her teammates first before turning back to the others. Nora opened her arms for Toni, both laughing lightly as they hugged. Toni then quickly gave Dot a hug, wondering where the hell Fatin was after. “Is Fatin still cleaning up vomit or?”

“I honestly don’t know where she is,” Dot admitted, scratching at the back of her head.

Toni smiled as she shook her head. “Well tell her—”

“Guys!” Fatin suddenly ran up to them, panting as she came to a stop. “I need a little help. Like… _right now_?”

“What happened this time?” Dot asked with a sigh. “More drunken incidents?”

“No. No, no. Or actually, _yes_ ,” Fatin suddenly realized, pointing at the hallway. “I think Shelby just passed out.”

Everyone then looked at each other in shock. Dot immediately put her glass aside, turning to Fatin in worry. “Where is she, Fatin?”

“Just outside,” Fatin spoke with haste, looking clueless. 

As Dot, Fatin and Nora hurried outside, Toni just stood there, feeling guilt all over her. What if she’d pushed her over the edge? What if this was her fault? 

“ _Fuck_ ,” she muttered under her breath, running a hand through her hair anxiously. “Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck_.”

“Toni are you—”

Toni didn’t even let Martha finish her sentence, as she ran through the house, her eyes widening at what she witnessed outside. Shelby was completely out of it, almost as if she were unconscious. Stepping closer to the scene, she watched as Dot tried to keep her in it. 

“I-Is she okay?” Toni asked quietly, concern written all over her face.

“No,” Dot said, trying to keep Shelby upright. “Is there anyone we can call?”

“Wasn’t her boyfriend with her?” Nora asked around. 

“He left,” Toni blurted out, not moving from her spot. 

“How do you know?” 

Toni shrugged. “Because she told me herself.”

“ _What?_ ” All three of them said in unison. 

“It doesn’t matter, okay?” Toni spoke, raising her voice. “Can we _please_ just get her some help?” 

“Can’t we call one of her parents?” Fatin suggested. 

“ _No_ ,” Toni immediately spoke. “Trust me, she wouldn’t want that.”

They all looked at her as if she had just spoken out the most absurd thing ever and Toni was afraid they’d actually make an attempt to call Shelby’s parents. But right then, Martha ran outside with a phone in her hand. “I called my mom, she’ll come pick us up, drive her to the hospital if necessary.”

“You’re a fucking lifesaver, Martha,” Dot exclaimed in relief, as Fatin nodded along. “Thank you, Martha.”

What felt like an indefinite amount of time, was actually fifteen minutes later, when a car approached. Martha’s mother stepped out, opening the door of the backseat. Dot wasted no time and held up Shelby under her shoulders. “Can someone get her legs?”

Fatin immediately helped Dot and the both of them carried Shelby towards the car, softly placing her in the backseat. Martha quickly stepped into the passenger’s seat, as her mother eyed Toni. “Can you stay with her in the back? Make sure she keeps on breathing.”

Toni just nodded and shouted a goodbye at the others, before stepping into the back of the car. Since Shelby occupied two-thirds of the space, and there was almost no space left for Toni herself, she slowly, but tenderly placed Shelby’s head on her lap. The more she looked at the blonde, the more she felt guilty about everything. And guilt was the worst kind of emotion.

“Should we bring her into the nearest ER?” Bernice asked, keeping her focus on the road. 

“Yes,” Toni answered directly, as her eyes met Martha’s. 

“She’ll be okay, Toni.” 

“ _Yeah_.”

It was barely even hearable. But from experience, Toni knew the opposite was a possibility as well, and she would never forgive herself if it were to come to that. With the most delicate touch possible, Toni put her hand over Shelby’s, hoping she wasn’t too far gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you enjoyed this chapter, i tried to make the best of it. tell me your thoughts!! haven't spell checked it, i apologize. but... until the next one (: 
> 
> (come talk to me on twitter: @fatinshoni)
> 
> here's a toni spotify playlist for the ones who'd like new music: [.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7lbDl1tbp7bOrPD0b0ILJl?si=qR_6-PY-QAGvmnim-JDZgg)


	5. - chapter five -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyy another update. don't really know how i feel about this chapter, i lowkey hate everything i write, but that's not y'alls problem lol. but yeah uh enjoy, hopefully (:
> 
> also haven't spell checked it once again sorry for any mistakes

The chaos of the ER was something Toni would never get used to; doctors running, people crying, screaming, blood, impatient loved ones lashing out at the receptionist… to think anyone could even work here, was a mystery to Toni. 

It had been a rough ten minutes since Shelby had been brought in. Everything had felt like one big haze to Toni, who was still wondering how it’d come this far. _Sure_ , she’d noticed Shelby had been drinking; her eyes even screamed it out, but being close to passing out? _No_. 

She feared even more that she’d been the one to cause this. 

The minutes passed by dreading slow in the waiting room. Toni tapped her feet nervously, her arms crossed over her chest as the guilt was eating her inside. Martha had obviously noticed it, and placed a hand over her knee, showing her a reassuring smile. Although it didn’t exactly help, the gesture was with good intent, and that’s what mattered most.

When a doctor finally made his way to them, and Toni noticed the alarming expression on his face, she knew that what was coming next would hit them all like a truck. “We performed a POC test on her and found the illegal substance _Rohypnol_ in her system. It’s also known as a date rape drug. Luckily, we haven’t found anything that leads us to believe there’s been sexual assault, but amnesia is an effect of the drug, which means she’ll probably forget everything that has happened tonight.” The doctor clicked with his pen and put it in the pocket of his coat, continuing. “You might have even saved her life by bringing her in, so thank you. We assume she’ll be concious by morning. We’re keeping Miss. Goodkind overnight to monitor her. Are her parents yet informed?”

Toni felt overwhelmed by the doctor’s statement, completely freezing in her seat as she takes it all in. She hazily picks up on how Bernice thanks the doctor for the information and tells him Shelby’s parents will be informed as soon as possible. It’s all she could take, until Martha’s mother made her way to the receptionist and Martha had excused herself to quickly go to the toilet. It was time to go.

Without telling anyone, or leaving any trace, Toni stormed outside. She looked around, the dark surrounding her as a few street lights make part of the road visible. And then she runs.

She doesn’t run because of her hate for Shelby, she doesn’t run because of that chaotic ER, she runs because she needs to. If it had just been the damn alcohol, she would’ve stayed. Maybe even the whole fucking night if she had to. But drugs were a different story. Drugs had ruined her childhood, had ruined her future, it had ruined her very own mother; who decided pills were worth more than her own daughter. 

Toni didn’t even know how many miles she’d ran when she arrived at the shit dump she lived at, with her pathetic foster family who didn’t give a shit about her, just like her mother, just like her father who’d left even before she was born. It didn’t even matter anymore. 

With her hands on her legs, she gasped for air. Her calves were burning and she could feel a headache coming up. Only then, she realized it was the middle of the night, and that if she’d wake them up now, she’d get a shitload of words thrown at her. With a deep sigh, she hopped inside of the old trailer next to the house, which was almost on the point of collapsing just like the house itself. There, she lied down on the tattered couch. To the ten missed calls from Martha, she just texted back an _‘i’m okay’_ and put her mom’s jacket over her body. 

That night she barely got any sleep. She was concerned for Shelby, wondered if her mother was still popping pills like it was nothing, and cried silent tears over how fucked up everything was.

Sunday was hell. Her foster parents still threw a shitload of hurtful words at her, and abandoned her to the trailer for at least a week. It wasn’t like Toni cared that much, she hated them after all. Martha had then called her to tell her she’d stayed at the ER the entire night. Shelby had been awake by morning, thanking Martha dozens of times after she found out what happened, and so did Shelby’s parents, who told her and Bernice that it was okay. Martha had gotten a text from Shelby hours later, telling her she was home. 

“I’m glad she’s home, Marty,” Toni said, and she really meant it. 

“Me too,” Martha said on the end of the line. “And don’t feel guilty anymore, please. After all, you helped her.”

“Thanks, Marty.”

The next day was the start of another school week, as well as the day in which the math booklet and its answers would be discussed. Everyone was seated with their project partners, and not even to Toni’s surprise, Shelby wasn’t in school today. Martha looked at her in slight concern when the entire class but Toni had the booklet ready, but Toni mouthed at her that it was okay. Shelby had it and she wasn’t here. Simple's that. She’d just talk her way out of it. 

The news had spread like some sort of epidemic that day. Shelby was the talk of the school, and Toni was getting tired of it, after hearing her name drop for the umpteenth time. She sat in the cafeteria with Martha, Dot and Fatin during lunch break, slightly annoyed. “Can they just shut the fuck up already?”

“Oh, Toni,” Fatin said, applying some make-up around her eyes as she did. “You know how that goes, right? After a few days there will be something new they will go on about. And then…” She trailed off, putting the make-up back in her purse before continuing. “Everything will be back to normal.”

Toni looked at Dot then, expecting something else, but instead Dot went along with her best friend. “What she said.”

“You’re both useless,” Toni groaned, slouching down in her seat. 

“Ouch,” Fatin scoffed jokingly. “Felt that one right in my heart.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Toni rolled her eyes, walking away from their table as she heard Martha follow her. Just outside of the cafeteria, she turned around to face her best friend. “What?”

“You’ve got to cut them some slack, Toni,” Martha suggested, “It’s not their fault.”

Toni then slid down the wall with a deep sigh, her legs stretched out. Martha quickly sat down beside her; legs crossed. Toni didn’t really wanna care, but she saw it happen and it would be kind of an asshole move not to ask, so she spoke up, “How’s she?”

Martha didn’t need a name to know who she was. Martha shrugged at her then. “She told me she was feeling a little bit better. And thanked me, again. I don’t know when she’ll be back, but you don’t have to worry about her, okay?”

“I’m _not_ worrying about her,” Toni snapped, regretting it right after, but having too much pride to say sorry. “I don’t give a fuck about how she feels. I just wanted to know if she wasn’t dead or anything. And she isn’t, so can we stop talking about her?”

It was true, Toni told herself, she just wanted to know that _one simple_ answer to make that feeling of guilt disappear, so that old memories wouldn’t reappear every fucking day. No more thinking now. Shelby was okay, and that was it. 

Except it wasn’t.

At first Toni didn’t even think about the blonde the next day, until another day had passed, and she was still nowhere to be seen. Two days had passed, then three, four… and the school week had come to an end. Toni just assumed it was normal, recovering from being drugged? _Yeah_ , she wouldn’t want to attend school for a while either. 

But another week passed and Toni was back in basketball training. She’d missed it; shouting at her teammates, scoring three pointers, hanging with Rachel and having a distraction that actually helped her. Their next game that week was an immediate success; they booked their first win ever since Toni got suspended. 

“Good to have you back on the team, Toni,” Coach Niabi told her, giving her a tap on the shoulder. 

“Thanks, Coach,” she smiled, high fiving Rachel after, who’d just run up to her. “You’re insane.”

“It’s a team sport,” Toni reminded her. “I didn’t score those points alone.”

“Nah, come on.” Rachel laughed at her, shaking her head. “We’re a mess without you and you know it.”

“That’s kind of true,” Toni smiled back at her, before scanning the court. “Hey, have you seen Martha?”

Nora came up to them, having overheard the conversation. “I saw her take a call and leave.”

Toni was impressed to say the least, it was crazy how observant Rachel’s sister was. “Then I guess I’ll go find her, thanks.” She moved to leave, but then turned back once more to say goodbye to Rachel, before actually leaving. “See you next training, Reid.”

Toni wandered through the halls of the school, in search of her best friend. She was nowhere near the court, so Toni just kept on searching. A minute or five later, she found Martha, standing just outside of the building, a phone to her ear. 

“Marty?” Toni asked, hugging herself against the cold that easily blew through her basketball jersey. 

Martha was startled by Toni’s sudden presence, quickly saying bye before hanging up. “Huh?”

“Who were you talking to?” Toni asked, pointing one of her fingers in the direction of Martha’s phone, while still protecting herself from the cold breeze. 

“Just Shelby,” Martha shrugged, turning to Toni with her arms open. “You were ama—”

Toni knocked off Martha from hugging her and looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. “Since when are you having _phone calls_ with Shelby?”

“Can’t I have other friends?” Martha said, innocently as always. 

Toni turned around and laughed in disbelief. “Friends with Shelby Goodkind?” She turned back to her best friend, spatting everything at her that came to mind. “Shelby is, and won’t, _ever_ be your friend. She’ll just use you; take everything she needs, and then drop you as soon as possible. _Hell_ , she'll probably make fun of you after. Maybe even her boyfriend too… and his friends, and the whole fucking school. People like Shelby don’t just become friends with you, Martha. People like Shelby only care about themselves.” She wanted to stop, but she just couldn’t. “And don’t come to me when she drops you, when they make fun of you or when you put your trust into someone who will mess with it. I’ve warned you.”

“Toni—”

“No. Just fucking go, Marty. I’ll just walk home by myself.”

And with that she went back inside, slammed the door shut behind her and gathered all her things in the locker room. When she gets home, she destroys her foster brother’s bike in a moment of uncontrollable rage. He cries when he finds out, tells his parents, and Toni’s officially banned to the trailer, plus she has to get him a new bike. 

The next week she reaches a new rock bottom. Shelby’s back and that alone sucks, but when Martha hangs out with the blonde more than Toni, she feels like she’s losing her best friend. Every day it happens again, and Toni lets her be. _No way_ would she ever willingly talk to Shelby, or hang out with her. Toni knew she’d fucked up with Martha, but she also knew she wouldn’t admit it. Pride; it was once again what stopped her. Without it, Toni was nothing. 

Toni then decided she had yet another reason to hate Shelby. 

It was the end of that school day, and Toni didn’t feel like going home. She’d told Martha that she’d stay behind for a while, and Martha let her be. Martha wasn’t acting that different after their fallout, and not even after spending all that time with Shelby. It calmed Toni a little, but still not enough to let go of her despise for Shelby. Then again, there was a lot more to it than just her friendship with Martha. 

Toni sat out there alone at the courtyard at the front of the school building. The sun made it seem warmer than it actually was, considering it was the end of September, and October was near. It didn’t stop Toni from sitting there in just a t-shirt though. She watched students leave the school for a moment, waving at Fatin, Dot and Leah, who for some reason, had joined them.

Quite a while later, everything was peacefully quiet, and Toni closed her eyes as the sun shined down on her, using her arms for support as she sat there, legs stretched out and her chin up. The moment was quickly ruined, when the sunlight got blocked by someone. 

Toni opened her eyes, then widened them when it was Shelby standing in her sight, looking down at her with a small smile. Against everything, Toni tried to be civil. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi,” Shelby spoke softly, standing there kind of aimlessly, before pointing at the spot beside Toni. “Can I sit there?”

“Mhm,” Toni nodded at her, using her hand to block the sunlight as Shelby moved to sit next to her. “Why are you here, Shelby?”

Shelby shrugged from beside her. “Just didn’t want to go home yet.”

“Me too,” Toni said, looking at the blonde shorty, before looking down at the grass and picking at it. “You know…” She didn’t look at her, but could feel Shelby’s on her. “It’s cool if you and Martha are friends. She can have other friends. But if you hurt her…”

“I won’t.”

She didn't exactly believe her, but didn't feel like fighting either. _Be civil_.

Toni then looked up at her, meeting her gaze. “I’ll take your word for it then.”

They sat there in silence for a while, until Toni couldn’t bear it anymore. “How are you, after… _you know_?”

“Fine,” Shelby spoke. “My daddy was really freakin’ pissed when he found out. I couldn’t leave the house for two weeks and now he checks my phone every day. He’s determined to find out who drugged me.”

“ _Controlling much_ ,” Toni mumbled at the words, before bringing up that night. “Do you remember anything from the party?”

Shelby instantly shook her head, picking at the grass as well. “I don’t. All I really remember is the pageant before it? And for some reason I remember you talking to me in some bathroom I’ve never seen before.”

Toni ignored the confusion she felt in her body when Shelby mentioned her. “Ah, that must’ve been Fatin’s.”

“Why were you even there, with me?”

Toni shrugged. “You were sad… and drinking, but mostly sad.”

“Oh…” Shelby began, looking away from Toni. “But if you hate me, then why were you _really_ there?”

“Look,” Toni started, letting out a small sigh. “I may dislike you. A lot, if I may add. But you needed someone. So, I figured, why not?”

For the sake of the both of them, Toni left out the part of Andrew leaving her, or when they fought and Toni told her to fuck off. It was better this way. 

“Thanks, I guess?” Shelby chuckled lightly, before standing up and looking down at Toni once again. She pointed her car keys at the parking lot. “Want a ride home?”

Toni hesitated at the question for just a few seconds, before declining the offer. “Nah, I’ll just walk. Thanks though.”

“Alright then,” Shelby spoke in that god awful Texan accent, which was one of the things on the list Toni despised about her. But Toni didn’t really mind this time. “Bye, Toni.” 

“Bye.” 

Toni then watched her wander off to the parking lot, her eyes following the car until it was out of sight. She packed her things and started the walk home. Toni wondered why Shelby had approached her, what she got out of it to even be talking to her, or be in her presence. 

It was either genuine, or there was something behind it all.

For now, Toni would see it as genuine, though the other option was nagging at the back of her mind. Because _really_ , nothing is like it seems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter. let me know your thoughts, love reading them as always. thanks for reading and supporting this. until the next one (:
> 
> ciao amigos
> 
> let's be moots on twitter: @fatinshoni


	6. - chapter six -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there! there's been some discussion going on about certain shoni fics. i just want to make clear that i have just turned 20 and that i'm only writing this because i love them, wanted to entertain others and because i love writing. i, in no way, have weird or bad intentions with this story and the characters. i'm well aware that both shelby and toni are 17, therefore minors, and i won't make it feel uncomfortable for any minors reading this. if i do, though, let me know. anything to make everyone feel comfortable reading this (:
> 
> that's all. here's a new chapter, enjoy!

It’s a chill but sunny Friday afternoon when Toni walks home from basketball practice. Toni loved blowing off steam after school hours so, a basketball training after a school week? _Perfect._

The walk home was boring and lonely without Martha, who’d gone home right after school. Toni didn’t blame her, she’d come home to a warm family, whereas Toni would be all alone in that stupid trailer with that awful family she didn’t give a flying fuck about. But she dealt with it, it was senior year; just a little more time before she aged out of the foster system and could live on her own. 

It was only a few more minutes towards the terrain, when Toni noticed the car following closely behind her. It was suspicious, although she tried not to make a big deal out of it. But when the car kept following her, she knew something was up. Toni hurried onto the terrain, trying to reach the trailer just in time before whatever maniac was following her. 

She was about to reach for the door handle, when a car door slammed shut in the near distance. Toni immediately recognized the man as Dave Goodkind, who walked up to her angrily and pushed her against the back of the trailer with his arm. “It was you all along.”

Toni clenched her jaw under the pressure of his arm, before spatting something back at him. “I don’t know _what the fuck_ you’re talking about.”

“You drugged my daughter,” he told her sternly. “She told me herself.”

Toni struggled against his grip, managing to push him away, as her rage came to the surface. “I don’t know what _sick fuck_ drugged her, okay? But it wasn’t me, I swear.”

Dave Goodkind looked taken aback by her statement, though seconds later, he was exactly the same. He pointed a finger at her from a short distance now. “You stay away from my daughter, you hear me?”

Toni laughed in disbelief, shaking her head. “I don’t even want anything to do with your _fucked up_ daughter and your _fucked up_ family.”

His eyes turned to anger at the words Toni spat at him, and Toni feared he might do something. Just as he was about to take a step forward, Toni’s foster dad came out of the house, rushing to stand in front of Dave Goodkind. “You better get the hell away from here before I call the police.”

Toni watched as Dave Goodkind flashed her one last glare, before trickling off to his car and disappearing out of sight. Her foster dad, Eddie, then turned to her, disappointment all over his face. “What was that, Toni?”

Toni just shrugged, too exhausted to explain it and have words with him. “I don’t know, okay?”

“You need to stop getting yourself into situations like these.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Then what was this?”

“I told you, I don’t _fucking_ know.”

“Whatever,” Eddie sighed. “Go do your homework or something. Don’t bother us.”

“Cool.”

And that’s how it always went. Toni was pretty sure that if it weren’t for Eddie’s wife, Tanya, she’d be in a different foster family already. 

It wasn’t exactly easy to be living with five different foster families from the age of seven till ten. It was only until she got to Texas when the moving had died down. She got placed into a nice foster family, who took care of her till the age of twelve, and met Martha at the elementary school she attended. 

When she got into high school though, she had to move to yet another foster family. Luckily, she could stay in the same town, although it did mean having to live with Eddie, Tanya and their two sons; Christo and Isaac – who were two little rats. But they offered a long-term care, until she aged out of the system, so Toni accepted whatever came her way, all to just stay in one place for a few years. To be close to Martha. To have a somewhat normal life. 

It was five years later now, and even though she hated the family, they’d stayed true to their offer. And what was family, when she had Martha anyway? Martha was her family, and had been her family for almost seven years now. _Yeah_ , Toni thought, _it was fine the way it was_. 

Toni woke up late the upcoming day, a Saturday to be exact. It was around noon when she finally had gotten herself ready for the day, if she even went anywhere. Martha wasn’t around today; she and her family would visit some old friends of her parents. It kind of sucked, because Toni _really_ just wanted to be away from this place. 

After pondering for a while, she decided to text Leah and ask her to hang out. The girl had been nice at Fatin’s party, and had been kind to her ever since. They’d often talk at school for a few minutes in between classes, or whenever they shared the same class. Leah had grown into a… _non-stranger_. 

Sure, she could ask Rachel to play some basketball, have awkward conversations with Nora, or hang with Fatin and Dot, but today she just wanted to be with someone who was calm, knew what she was talking about and most importantly; wouldn’t be a pain in the ass. 

Toni couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face when Leah replied to her text, telling her she was free and would love to hang with her. 

The two had agreed to meet at the arcade at the mall. Of course, Toni had to make yet another bad impression by being too late. Not just late, but the _twenty minutes_ kind of late. Nine out of ten times it’d be her own stupid fault, but this time she really couldn’t help it, because _of course_ fucking Isaac had to whine to her about kicking his football all over to the neighbors, and _of course_ Toni had to fix it. At least the little rat had thanked her after. 

After parking her bike close to the entrance, Toni sprinted towards the arcade, searching for the tall brunette sitting by herself. Toni’s eyes scanned the game room, finding Leah exactly as she expected her to; all in the back by herself. Once she noticed Toni, she flashed her a small smile and wave. 

“I’m _so_ sorry I’m late,” Toni said with a hint of guilt. “Family problems.”

“It’s completely fine,” Leah smiled back at her, waving it off. She looked around, stood up from the seat she had occupied and pointed at the air hockey table. “Wanna play?”

“Hell yeah!”

The arcade was crowded, as always on the weekends. After three rounds of air hockey, there were impatient kids waiting to play, and Toni couldn’t handle the obvious nagging, so she decided let the kids have it their way. 

After some racing game, some vintage ones like Pacman and Tetris, those fucking claw machines — where you’d never get a grip on those damned stuffed animals, and a game of table football, the two decided to leave the arcade. 

“I can’t believe I let you win _everything_ ,” Toni groaned jokingly. 

“Maybe I was just better,” Leah threw back, bursting out in laughter once she saw the look on Toni’s face, who tried way too hard to look pissed.

“I’ll accept the defeat,” Toni then joked, motioning for Leah to follow her. “Come on, I want to show you something.”

Toni dragged the brunette all the way to the other end of the mall, climbing up the stairs that led to one of the emergency exits. Leah froze once she noticed Toni was about to open the door. “What are you doing?”

Toni opened the door and nodded outside. “Come on, it’s worth it.”

As Toni heard Leah follow behind her, she quickly closed the door, hoping no one had seen them. They were standing on the side at the roof of the mall, which was glass structured. Toni climbed up the roof, holding out a hand for Leah, who took it with some hesitance, but eventually followed Toni’s movements. 

Toni gazed around over the town, turning to Leah after, who was looking down through the glass. Toni chuckled lightly, “What do you think?”

“Cool spot.”

“Right?”

“Definitely,” Leah sighed contently, admiring the view around them now. “How’d you even find it?”

“I used to come here with my ex,” Toni admitted, fumbling with her fingers as she met Leah’s gaze. “Haven’t really been here since we broke up.”

Leah flashed her a sad smile and showed some interest. “Tell me about her. I mean – only if you want to.”

Toni didn’t exactly like the idea of opening up to people, especially when they took advantage of it. But Leah didn’t seem like that kind of person, and maybe it was good to talk about it with someone _other_ than Martha. “Her name’s Regan. She actually works at a diner here at the mall or _well_ – I don’t know if she _still_ does – but anyway, I applied for a part time job there, got hired, she already worked there and got the tough job to train me.”

“And then what happened?” Leah asked curiously. 

“Too much,” Toni sighed, remembering every bit of her relationship with the girl. “A few days in I could already feel myself starting to like her, but I was too scared to tell her. Then she suddenly asked me on a date and I remember feeling _so_ fucking happy at the time, _especially_ when she kissed me that day. It all went so fast; it feels like a fucking fever dream sometimes. Then one day, I don’t know – we’d been together for six months already, she knew about my situation and about my temper, had tolerated it every time it happened, but that night something just _snapped_ inside of me.” Toni tried to hold back her emotions, giving herself a second to breathe, before continuing as Leah listened attentively, resting her face on both her hands. 

“You don’t have to finish it, you know,” Leah then said with a hint of reassurance. 

Toni shook her head. “It’s fine. It feels good to share it with someone else rather than Martha.”

Toni then told the last part of the story. She told Leah about how they went to the movies that night and had entered the parking lot in amusement, before they got bothered by a group of guys. Toni told her how she’d snapped and fought with the guys, losing complete control over herself. Then the most painful part came. Regan had tried to help her and Toni accidently hit her – even causing her to bleed. It had been the final straw. Regan broke up with her, Toni smashed her car and was left feeling as guilty as ever. Heartbroken. Powerless. Even worthless. She quit the part-time job because of it, but her ex never held a grudge against her, had occasionally asked Martha about her and was always kind to her whenever they crossed paths. “And I guess that’s it.”

“ _Christ_ ,” Leah breathed out. “I’m so sorry, Toni. That must’ve been horrible.”

“It was,” Toni agreed, but then shrugged. “But now it isn’t anymore. I’m fine. It’s _fine_.”

“Still sounds better than being manipulated by an older guy and thinking you’re in love with him. I’ll never get that part of my life back,” Leah joked, although deep down it still hurt. 

“It’s good he’s in jail now,” Toni spoke, receiving a nod from Leah. “It’s what he deserves.”

“Damn right.”

“Good talk,” Toni stated, smiling as Leah laughed at the words.

“Wanna get something to eat?” Leah then suggested. “I’m paying.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” Leah disagreed, standing up and looking down at Toni. “Let’s go.”

Out of all places, Leah had chosen the diner where Toni used to work at. And the place where, _she just had found out_ , her ex _still_ worked. Toni didn’t want to be annoying, so she just accepted the fact that she was going to face Regan. And it was okay.

“How are things with Fatin now?” Toni asked, sliding into the booth across from Leah. 

Leah shrugged. “She’s great. I think you might even say we’re… _friends_?”

“Really?” Toni chuckled, nodding impressed. “Who would’ve thought.”

“Not me,” Leah admitted. “But I’m kind of happy it turned out this way. I really like her.” Leah stopped herself before Toni could interrupt. “In a _friend kind of way_ , though.”

“I believe you,” Toni reassured her, noticing how the brunette’s cheeks turned slightly red. She chose not to mention it, though. 

A somewhat awkward interaction then took place. Regan came up to them to get their orders, asked Toni how she was doing, and Leah looked rather confused as to what was going on. When Regan walked away, Toni was met with Leah’s squinting eyes, as if she was some fucking Sherlock Holmes who had just cracked a case or something. “ _Wait_ …”

“Hmm?” Toni asked, raising a brow.

“That…”

“What?”

“Was Regan.”

Toni nodded with a small laugh. “Yeah.”

“Your _ex_ , Regan.”

“Congrats. You solved the mystery,” Toni teased as Leah switched glances between the girl at the counter and Toni. 

It was a while later when the two ate their ordered meals. Toni couldn’t even remember when was the last time she’d felt this carefree with a friend, because Toni didn’t _do_ friends and Toni had only ever had Martha, and trusting yet another person was bound to be a mistake. But lately Toni had found herself growing quite fond of all these girls that she met at detention that one day; they were all kind, funny, all had something different to offer, yet easily bonded. They were simply great – except for Shelby Goodkind then. 

_Speaking of the devil…_

“ _You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me_ ,” Toni murmured under her breath, trying to look the other way when the familiar blonde entered the diner.

Leah was about to ask her what’s going on, but got the hint when she noticed Shelby walking in with Andrew and a few of his friends, taking up the booth right behind them. Toni couldn’t help but meet Shelby’s green eyes as they shortly made contact. They didn’t say anything to each other, but Toni knew she had to confront the blonde about what had happened the day before. 

As Leah and Toni both finished their milkshakes minutes later, Leah went off to pay. Toni took it as the perfect timing to talk some sense into Shelby. 

Once Shelby noticed Toni standing right at their table, she stopped talking about whatever Christian bullshit Toni had overheard them discussing, and turned to face her. “Oh, hi Toni. We were just talking about the upcoming service in the Lord’s house this Sunday. You’re always welcome, you know?”

“Might help you turn to the good side,” Andrew added mockingly, his friends laughing with him.

Toni rolled her eyes, her blood already starting to boil inside of her. Choosing to ignore those twats, she focused on Shelby. “We need to talk.”

Shelby didn’t even question it, just nodded and followed her outside to the corner behind the diner. Toni noticed how the blonde quickly looked behind her, making sure no one was around, before she crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Toni questioningly. “What’d you want to talk about, Toni?”

“Your psychotic dad followed me home yesterday and accused me of drugging you. What the _fuck_ did you tell him, Shelby?” Toni asked her furiously, never losing eye contact.

Shelby looked down at the ground anxiously. “I told him it was you,” she confessed.

“We both know that isn’t what happened,” Toni fired back at her, extremely disappointed by what Shelby told her.

“You have no idea—”

“And I don’t fucking _care_ ,” Toni spat at her. “You can’t just go around telling lies about me. You need to take it back, Shelby. What if your dad calls the police on me, _huh_? I can’t deal with that.”

“I’m sorry, okay?” Shelby spoke in defense. “I panicked and it just... _happened_.”

“If you have even one amount of good in your heart, then _please_ , tell him the truth,” Toni almost begged, completely overtaken by the thought of having to deal with more shit.

“But I don’t know who did it.”

“Then _find_ _out_!” Toni argued. “ _Hell_ , I could even help.”

Silence fell over the two. Toni just waited for an answer, which eventually came.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“If you help me find the one who did it, I will take it back.”

“Deal.”

“Great,” Shelby huffed at her. “In the meantime, I’ll make sure my daddy won’t go to the police, or anythin’ like that.”

The two then walked back into the diner, Shelby slid back into the booth next to Andrew, Toni tapped Leah on the shoulder who was talking to her former boss at the counter. “We should go.”

“Is everything okay?” Leah asked, switching glances between Toni and Shelby.

Toni just nodded. “All fine.”

As they turned to leave, Toni couldn’t stop herself from throwing a remark at Andrew. “Hey, Andrew! Maybe if you weren’t so busy fucking other girls, your own girlfriend wouldn’t have been drugged.”

Toni met his gaze then, and it was one she knew all too well. The look of guilt. Not the kind of guilt filled with regret, but the guilt of knowing you’d done something that would one day be exposed. It was a look that said more than words ever could.

She knew it right there and then – _Andrew_ ; the perfect son-in-law, the perfect white boy, the _oh so_ innocent believer. _Andrew_ , who had been Shelby's boyfriend for two years now, _he_ was the one who drugged Shelby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading. let me know what you think!! until the next one (:


	7. - chapter seven -

Okay, maybe it was too quick to jump to conclusions, but Andrew _definitely_ had something to do with it, and Toni was determined to find out what it was. All she needed was proof.

And what the fuck was Shelby thinking? It all had flown by way too quick for her to actually realize what the blonde had done. Shelby had accused her of a serious fucking crime and it was _twisted_. Toni felt like a fool for helping her that night, making sure she was okay and fearing that Shelby wouldn’t wake up anymore. Shelby could’ve blamed anyone else, but of course it had to be her. What a way to stab someone in the back.

It was fucked up. It was _really_ fucked up.

Toni lied down in the trailer that night, tears in her eyes, as she wondered if this was her fate; being fucked over by anyone and everyone. She had gotten used to it, but it still hurt. _God_ , did it hurt.

When a new school week had arrived, and she told Fatin and Dot what had happened that weekend, the best friends had stared at her in disbelief. Fatin was almost ready to go over to Shelby and fight, so was Dot, but being the sensible person she was, Dot had pulled Fatin back instead.

Toni hadn’t even told Martha about it all, afraid Martha wouldn’t believe her, or take Shelby’s side, or whatever the fuck would happen for her best friend to leave her. It was paranoid, maybe, but Toni couldn’t deal with it now. 

It was better this way.

Wednesday came. Toni had agreed to meet Shelby after school at the outbuilding of the church the blonde attended. It was also the place where Shelby would have Youth Group in the evening – and normally Toni would’ve never come there, not even if it was the last fucking building on earth, but it was their only option, since Dave Goodkind kept track of Shelby’s whereabouts. 

Toni immediately cycled to the address Shelby had told her, parking her bike at the side of the small outbuilding next to the giant church. There, she relaxed against the wall, waiting for Shelby to show up. 

About ten minutes later, the blonde did.

“Hey,” Toni said, removing herself from beside the wall as Shelby walked up to her. 

“Hey,” the pageant princess responded, pointing to the small building. “Shall we?”

Toni nodded, keeping her hands in the pockets of her beige jacket as she followed Shelby inside. It was just like she’d imagined; some stupid table in the middle with some chairs, a cross on the white walls, some drawings made by children and some other projects that were stuck on the wall and spread out over the table. Toni scanned the calendar that hung next to the cross, spotting that there was a Youth Group every Wednesday evening, and one for the kids on Friday afternoon. 

“Can’t imagine coming here voluntarily,” Toni mumbled, turning to meet Shelby’s gaze on the other side of the room. Toni shrugged with her hands still in the pockets of her jacket. “So, how are we gonna do this?”

“I don’t know,” Shelby told her, taking a seat at the table before looking at Toni. “You offered the help.”

“Seriously, Shelby?” Toni groaned, rolling her eyes as she took a seat across from the blonde and finally released her hands from her jacket. “Let’s start with that night.”

“What night?”

“The one wherein you got drugged, remember?”

“I already told you everything I remember.”

“Sure,” Toni snorted at her. “I’m not that stupid, Shelby. You obviously remember more.”

They looked at each other in silence, and Toni was pretty sure she’d get to the blonde. They weren’t leaving before they knew who did it, and she’d make sure of it. The truth would come to the surface eventually.

It didn’t take long for Shelby to break the eye-contact and let out a sigh.

“Fine,” Shelby gave in. “Let’s go over it again.”

_Good things came to those who waited._

“Okay then,” Toni started, smiling inwardly because of how easily she could get this shit out of Shelby; finding the guilty one would be a piece of cake. “Let’s start with the last thing you remember from that night.”

“I already told you,” Shelby said, using her hand. “I was talking to you.”

“Alright…” Toni trailed off. “How about before that?”

Shelby rested her face on the palm of her hand, thinking. “I vaguely remember being with Andrew. I don’t know what we were doing, but I—”

Toni furrowed her eyebrows, confused as to why Shelby stopped talking midsentence. But then Shelby spoke up, “He forced himself onto me. I told him to stop.”

Toni nodded, hoping this would make her remember even more. “That’s also what you told me.”

“I did?” Shelby asked in slight disbelief.

Toni once again nodded. 

“What else did I tell you?”

Toni didn’t even have to think about it. “You told me he wanted to have sex, and you didn’t. He then forced himself onto you and you eventually managed to push him away. He then left.”

Shelby shook her head, trying to process it. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“Yet he did,” Toni commented, folding her hands in front of her on the table. “Look, you can think of me what you want, but I don’t lie about shit like this. I would _never_.”

Shelby closed her eyes at the words, letting out a loud exhale later, before opening her eyes and nodding. “Okay. Say you’re right, what does this have to do with who drugged me?”

“There’s a big possibility that it was Andrew.”

“Now you’re just making shit up.”

Toni whistled at that, impressed by the use of swear words. “You say your prayers with that mouth? Here? In the _Lord’s house_?”

Shelby managed to let out a small laugh at that and Toni could feel her lips curl up into a smile at the sight. Maybe it even made her heart flutter. Trying to brush it off quickly, she went on. “Did you ever leave a drink alone? Like… so out of sight that someone could mess with it?”

Shelby shook her head at that. “Not from what I remember. Did I even drink?”

“For _sure_ ,” Toni said over-exaggerated. “When I saw you in the bathroom there was an empty bottle of vodka in there with you.”

Shelby tried to hide her face in embarrassment, mumbling something that sounded like _‘may the lord be with me’_.

“It’s not that serious,” Toni clarified, rolling her eyes at the blonde. “Now, who else has been with you that night? Say, half an hour before you passed out? _Think_ , Shelby.”

“When did you last see me before I passed out?” Shelby returned, knitting her brows trying to fathom it all.

Toni shrugged at her. “Fifteen minutes or so?”

Shelby nodded at the response, and Toni noticed how the blonde was deep in her thoughts, striving to find an answer. Toni, in her turn, started tapping her fingers on the table in front of her, waiting anxiously for Shelby to say something. 

“And?” she asked moments later.

Shelby looked up at her. “It wasn’t you.”

“No shit.”

“And the only person who was with me before you…”

“Mhm…”

Feeling sympathy for the person who she despised was the last thing Toni wanted to feel, but it happened, because the look of hurt and realization on Shelby’s face, was _heartbreaking_. 

Shelby had put a hand over her mouth, the muffled sound of crying leaving her body as tears rolled down her face. Toni didn’t exactly know what to do, maybe perplexed at the sight, or just uncomfortable, because she’d only ever comforted Martha… or maybe it was both.

Against everything she felt or thought, Toni cursed at herself on the inside, as she made her way over to the blonde. At first, she stood there for what felt like an eternity for her – when in reality it was only a few seconds, before awkwardly wrapping her arms around Shelby. 

Toni hated the way that Shelby froze at the contact, almost fearing she’d push her away, or start yelling at her. Maybe it was even better to let go and leave her alone, because who could ever calm down around such a hothead? 

But instead of any of those things, Shelby curled her fingers around Toni’s arm, holding onto her tightly as she cried, tears falling down on Toni’s hand. 

“It’s okay,” Toni heard herself say, softly as never before. “ _You’re_ okay.”

Shelby held onto her for a while then. 

What Toni didn’t think would happen, was _Dave fucking Goodkind_ walking onto the terrain, a determined look on his face as he walked in the direction of the side building. Toni immediately backed away from Shelby, having no clue what to do. “I can see your dad walking over here, like literally, _right now_.”

Shelby looked at her wide-eyed, jumping up from behind the table and checking the window through the blinds, before turning to Toni in complete fucking fear. “You have to hide.”

“Where?” Toni shot back dumbfounded, holding up her hands in uncertainty.

“Shit. Shit. _Shit._ ” 

And suddenly Shelby’s hands grabbed her shoulders, and Toni froze, meeting the blonde’s eyes. “Hide in the toilet.”

All Toni did was nod, before hurrying her way to the toilet right beside the entrance. The best thing to do was leave the door unlocked and hope he wouldn’t check it, because a locked door would give even more questions. A fragment of time later, Toni heard the door of the building open.

What she heard wasn’t exactly... _reassuring_. 

“I thought you were workin’ on the project for this evenin’.”

“I am, dad.”

“Oh yeah? Because I don’t see anythin’.”

Toni begged for Shelby to come up with an excuse, some little white lie, or whatever the fuck to prevent her dad from finding out that she was with his daughter. If he found out, she’d really be fucked - _police fucking shit_ fucked.

At first, Shelby managed to come up with some good excuses; she was just brainstorming, her eyes were red because she was _so grateful_ for the life she was granted by the lord, _and_ she’d been in the church itself for a while. Toni was impressed by the dishonesty, but then again, Shelby had lied several times. 

She was starting to think Dave Goodkind bought the story and would leave his daughter alone, but he didn’t.

He _really_ didn’t.

“Whose bike is that, outside?”

“What bike?”

“Don’t act stupid, Shelby. I know when you’re hidin’ things from me. You can’t fool me anymore, not since last year.”

Toni heard a scoff of disbelief coming from Shelby. In all honesty, she was really confused as to what they were talking about, but it clearly drove Shelby insane. 

“I told you, I’m not like _that_. Why won’t you just believe me?”

“Who’s here with you, Shelby?”

“No one.”

Toni didn’t hear a single word then. Silence was all there was. A silence that held a lot of pain.

“Alright then,” Dave spoke after a moment. “If I find out you’ve been lying, there will be consequences. It’s the last thing I want for you, but I’m afraid I’ll have no choice if you keep on destroying yourself.”

Shelby didn’t say anything in response. Or maybe it was so quiet that Toni couldn’t hear it. The whole conversation felt _off_ , and Toni felt weirded out by it. She wondered what he’d meant by _last year_ , what _consequences_ and _how_ the fuck Shelby was destroying herself, wasn’t she just his perfect daughter who could do no wrong? It was one hell of a mess, one Toni would rather not involve herself in.

She was pretty sure her heart stopped for a second when the door opened, sighing in relief once she found out it was just Shelby. “Thank fuck.”

Toni stepped out of the small space, standing on her tiptoes to look over Shelby’s shoulder, before meeting the girl’s gaze. “Is he gone?”

“He is,” Shelby nodded, crossing her arms over her chest as Toni noticed how she looked away and bit the inside of her cheek, obviously anxious.

“Are you okay?”

“I am.”

“It sounded pretty sh—”

“It’s none of your business, Toni,” Shelby cut her off, brushing past her. 

Toni turned around in confusion, feeling that familiar rage build up inside of her. “Oh, no? _You’re_ the one who accused me of drugging you. _You_ dragged me into the middle of this… _fucked up mess_. I think it really is my business, Shelby.”

“I’m sorry, _okay_?” Shelby shot back at her. “Is that what you wanted to hear? Because I feel really bad for what I did.”

“ _Oh_ , you do now?” Toni questioned, taking a few steps closer, not losing any eye-contact. “Then why did you let it get this far? I’ve been going mental these past few days; afraid the cops would show up at my door. If that happens, I'll have _nothing_ left. I’ll have _no one_ left.”

Shelby looked away in shame, her voice quieting down. “I didn’t know that could happen.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the foster system for you,” Toni sneered at her. “You _really_ fucked up, Shelby.”

Shelby then looked at her, maybe the most genuine look Toni had ever gotten from her. “I know. Trust me, I know.”

“Then, _please_ , do the right thing,” Toni urged.

Shelby nodded understandingly. “I’ll tell him to drop it.”

“But you need to press charges against Andrew.”

“I can’t.”

Toni sighed in frustration, shaking her head. “He fucking _drugged_ you.”

“No one will believe me,” Shelby spoke helplessly. 

“I do,” Toni then said, a little too fast for her liking. But it was true. “You need to stand up for yourself, Shelby.”

“Just _stop_ , Toni!” Shelby raised her voice with a hint of irritation. “I’ll make sure you’ll have nothin’ to do with it anymore, that’s it. Just... just stay away from me now.”

“Yeah, fine.” Toni huffed and walked away from the blonde, turning around once more with her hand already on the doorknob of the entrance. “You know, I thought you’d be different than I’d always assumed. But really, you’re just as fucked up as the rest of your family.”

Toni hung out with Martha that evening, and finally told her about it all. Her best friend had given her a tight hug, told her she loved her and that she’d tell Shelby to not do something like this again or their friendship would be over, because yes, those two were still friends. Toni could tell her that she was extremely hurt by what Shelby had done, drag her down to the fucking ground, and tell Martha to stay away from the blonde. But Toni let it be, because who was she to forbid a friendship?

Not that she didn’t hate it, because she _did_ , but immature was something she didn’t want to be. 

The next school day came, and Toni was lucky to have someone she knew in every class. Funny thing was, she shared the most with Leah, and they both had never noticed. They sat next to each other in the back of English class, Leah was invested in a book, not paying attention to the class at all. And neither did Toni, because it was _really_ fucking boring.

Toni nudged Leah’s shoulder, removing the pencil from between her lips to talk. “Are you doing anything tomorrow tonight?”

Leah looked up from her book, staring at her lazily. “Tomorrow night?” She shrugged. “Not that I know of.”

“Wanna chill with the others?” Toni asked her, a grin on her face. “Dot’s dad is away for the weekend. We were thinking of doing some movie night or whatever.”

“Sounds cool,” Leah said with actual _non-sarcasm_ for once. “I’m in.”

Toni nodded at her. “Cool.”

Toni was already excited to hang with her friends. Yes, her _friends_. Not that she believed either of them really cared besides Martha, but they were nice to her anyway. It would probably be fun and a damn good distraction from all the thinking she did. 

She wasn’t prepared for Shelby Goodkind to show up that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always; thanks for reading. let me know what you think!!   
> also just wanted to remind y'all it really is a slow burn, but the title says it all lol  
> anyway, until the next one (:
> 
> come talk to me on twitter: @fatinshoni


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